A reader poll on The Passionate Couple I saw earlier today asked that very question. I have the “magic metal toy”, but none that have actual names. Then I realized that there was a time when I did have a named sex toy, not that I had been the one who named it mind you.
It was six or seven years ago and I was going out to dinner with a couple girlfriends at one of our favourite restaurants. I, as usual, was running about five or ten minutes late. I figure an evening out with friends wasn’t a time sensitive endeavour. The two of them were already there and seated when I arrived. There was a little gift bag on the table that briefly caught my attention. It wasn’t either of our birthdays. Maybe one had bought a gift for the other for some reason, I didn’t really think much of it.
We greeted each other warmly, hugs and kisses all around. The owner came out to wait on us personally. Yes, we were always special guests of this particular establishment. I haven’t been there in quite some time. Must rectify that soon.
After the owner took our orders I was presented with the gift bag and gave questioning looks to both of them. They didn’t say anything other than to tell me to just open it. As I pulled aside the tissue paper I was greeted with a big black Doc Johnson vibrator. I tried to leave it in the bag but no, they wouldn’t be having any of that.
Karen pulled it out of the bag, then out of the packaging to show me that they had gotten batteries as well. I was slightly embarrassed. She proceeded to tell me that because I was late and they were both early they had run into the adult store two buildings over and bought me a “congratulations on being late for dinner again” gift.
Apparently having it out on the table in the middle of the restaurant wasn’t embarrassment enough. They decided it needed a name. Holding it up, they pondered names. Johnson. Richard, Cochrane. Peter. I offered up Doc but that didn’t seem good enough to them. The table next to us noticed the big black vibrator being waves around and offered up a happy birthday to me. I told them it wasn’t my birthday, this is what my friends do if you are late for dinner! Then they got in in the naming action and the toy made the rounds at their table.
My level of embarrassment grew until I thought it couldn’t possibly get any worse. That was when I decided to just let them have their way and not let it bother me. It took a lot of effort but it worked, they finally gave up trying to embarrass me any further.
Two things came out of that evening. First, everyone decided the toy would be called Cochrane, with Cocky as a acceptable nickname. My first named sex toy. Second, I was never late for dinner again!
She didn’t stop there though.