Last week’s prompt for Wicked Wednesday was “mindset”. I didn’t specifically address it, though the idea of it did run through the piece I had written. I have been thinking about it quite a bit over the week.
Sometimes all we need is a little change of mindset to make a big change. Sometimes it has to be a conscious decision, but other times it just evolves naturally.
You may have heard me mention Jay or seen his out of focus body in a pic or two. I am still working on getting my mind around him. At first I thought he was just shy but he isn’t shy, he’s passive. Shy I can get past as that goes away eventually, but being passive is something I am really not used to at all. He is open to all kinds of experiences, which is great, but I have been having a difficult time getting my mind round the fact that I will always need to be the dominant one when we are together, the one deciding what we are going to do and how we are going to do it.
I was trying to make him change to meet my needs, to take control and have his way. I realized that is never going to happen. Do I move on or do I change my mindset and continue? It is not my natural tendency to be dominant and it is not easily done with a partner who shows little excitement or desire . If I want to continue I really have no other choice but to change my mindset where he is concerned. It would be easier to move on as even if I try to change it will only be a matter of time before it’s too much for me.
Then there’s Daddy. Yep, you read that right. Never, ever, EVER, did I think I would have a Daddy or be a babygirl. It was a type of play/relationship that did nothing for me. The idea of calling my partner “Daddy” was more of a turn off than anything. I felt it was more about stroking his ego of being with a younger partner. I call my own father daddy so it just didn’t work for me in a sexual context.
Turns out something changed there all on its own. “Sir” lasted only a day or so then it naturally became Daddy. We were talking one night and I almost called him Daddy then caught myself and stopped because I wasn’t sure how he would take it, and also because I wasn’t sure how I felt about saying it. He said later that he almost did the same thing in telling me to be a good babygirl for Daddy. Once we talked about it and realized we both had the same inclination we just let it be. Now I couldn’t image him being anything but.
This is another relationship I doubt will go any distance, but I am enjoying this one immensely at the moment and have decided to roll with it. I am learning more about what I actually like versus what I thought I would never like but had actually never tried. Each relationship gives us something, teaches us something, regardless of whether it is a full on romance or a role we play online. And I say a role we play but I mean that we are actually embracing that role rather than just acting it out. Yet another mindset that is changing for me.