This morning, as I sat in the waiting room of the recreation centre I was thinking about how great it would be to run around and release some of my own stress and frustrations of late. Then I thought about things that truly frustrate me and why they do. Generally it is lies and untruths that irk me so, and as I thought about this I realized that it is not just others towards me, but also their understanding of me and my truths. If I don’t tell you my truths how do you learn them? How long will it take for you to better understand what makes me tick, what turns me on, and what pushes me completely over the edge? At the same point, I also should not have to tell you the same thing over and over because you don’t hear what I am telling you. I am who I am, not what you project onto me.
Here are some more of my frustrations and truths…
1. Just because I am kinky and lean towards the submissive does not mean I can not also enjoy simple passionate sex. Kissing, caressing and gentle, tender love making can do much more for me than pulling my hair and growling “good girl” when the right feeling and emotion is behind it.
2. Speaking of “good girl”, it doesn’t evoke the same response from everyone. Saying it because you think I like it and saying it because you truly mean it are different. It works similarly with “bad girl” or “naughty girl”, or other such things meant to punish or humiliate me. If I don’t care what you think of me, or I care nothing for you, there may be nothing you can say that will.
3. Saying I like something does not mean I have to have it every single time. It means that is one aspect of what I enjoy. Eventually the kink will become the vanilla if you are just doing the same ol’ same ol’ every time.
4. We do not have to do everything every time we play. In fact, I prefer we don’t even try. It all comes back to that adage of quality over quantity. Let me enjoy and process one thing before moving on to try everything.
5. Stop asking if you were good, if I enjoyed it, if I orgasmed, and so on. Learning what I like is one thing, requiring constant reassurance is another. I’m not a Domme or your Mother. Be the confident dominant one for crissakes!
6. DO NOT share toys you are using to penetrate someone else with! Seriously. I can’t believe that even needs to be said. The only way this happens is if they are glass or metal toys that can be easily sterilized and are. Soap and water on a silicon or other semipermeable surface won’t cut it. Besides, eew!!
7. My vagina may be like every other woman’s vagina, but it is uniquely mine and you will need to learn what makes it purr. Do not keep telling me that what you are doing worked for the last ten women you were with. Learn what works for me.
8. If you are going to fist me or flog me or control me, do it! Don’t do something half assed and expect me to want to do it again. We have safe words for a reason. If I am at green and you are at red why do you even start? If I am teaching you it is different of course, but the thing with being submissive is that I can’t always be the teacher.
9. Sexual endeavours can be fully satisfying without an orgasm. Quit focusing on making me orgasm, or trying to get me to squirt all over you, and focus on making it enjoyable.
10. Yes, I write about my partners and experiences. No, I don’t use your real name.
11. Ten is enough for today. 😉