1.require (something) because it is essential or very important. “I need help now”not want to be subjected to something. “I don’t need your sarcasm”
2.expressing necessity or obligation. “need I say more?”
3.archaic be necessary. “lest you, even more than needs, embitter our parting”
1.circumstances in which something is necessary, or that require some course of action; necessity. “the basic human need for food”
2.a thing that is required. “his day-to-day needs”
“I want you to hold me, to hurt me, and to comfort me when you are done.”
That is what I told Him today. I lied. I don’t want it, I need it.
Just as He needs to give a beating, I need to take one.
I need to be spanked or flogged or beaten, maybe all three, maybe more.
I need to feel pain beyond the pleasure, until it subsides and sends me off into peaceful subspace.
I need my brain to shut down, to reset itself.
I need to fight and cry and scream.
I need to release what has built up, what I have held on to for far too long.
I need to be punished, for something, I don’t even know what.
I can’t do it myself.
I try, but there is only so much one can inflict on oneself before self preservation kicks in and it stops.
I can’t hurt myself the way I need to be hurt.
I can’t cause the pain that needs to be felt.
I can’t let go without being forced to, without knowing there will be comfort once I do.
I can’t explain it, rationalize it.
I just know, innately, this is something that I need.
I don’t want you to hold me, to hurt me, or to comfort me when you are done.
I need you to.
I need you to hold me.
I need you to hurt me, to bring tears, to have me beg.
I need you to comfort me, to make a safe space for me.
I need you to make me do what I can not do myself.
I don’t want you to.
I need you to.