Archive for the ‘Blogging’ Category


That’s right, I’ve moved to a new self hosted site stellakiink.com. This blog will remain active for now but will be closed and redirected to the new site soon. Even though I’ve posted on various social media accounts I know not everyone will be aware of the move until they come here to check in.

As part of this move I will be transferring current subscribers to the new site, hopefully. I’m not very technically inclined so there’s a realistic chance it won’t work. If you currently follow me here I want to thank you for all your support and urge you to go over to the new site, stellakiink.com, bookmark it and subscribe there. I’ve already made a couple posts today and I wouldn’t want you to miss anything. 🙂

I look forward to having you all by my side on this new adventure.


P.S. This week’s Wicked Wednesday prompt is “Try something new.” It’s been a while since I’ve posted to Wicked Wednesday, but I felt it apt to post this notice as I started posting for Wicked Wednesday from the very beginning of my very first blog. It somehow feels right that my last post here will be to the Wicked Wednesday meme as well.


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I know, it’s been forever since I sat and wrote something here. It’s not that I’ve not wanted to, it’s just that I didn’t have anything to say. Life’s been happening, as usual. Mr S has been travelling quite a bit so not too much there, but the times when he has been home, when we’ve been together, I’ve wanted to keep to myself. Again, I know. Not very nice of a sex blogger not to blog about the sex she’s been having.

Truth is, I’ve been stuck in my head. When that happens I can’t get the words, the thoughts, out in a way that makes sense. I think about moments, about experiences, about more that I want to have and about older ones that I may not have again. I feel wistful and long for something I’m not sure will happen. I think about work and life in general, about my son and school and having to teach him to speak the words he isn’t able to speak. I think about how alone I am here in my little world with him and how I wish for more for us, for him particularly.

This past week has been a roller coaster. Having heard not so great news about my son at the beginning of the week and what that may mean for us for the next few (many?) years, we didn’t start on a good note. Later in the week Mr S and I, along with friends, took in a party at a local swingers club. That was a very enjoyable experience, and one that I am hoping we will do again, often. Maybe I will be able to put that experience into words for you soon. Yesterday I ended the week with a lovely dinner at a girlfriends’ home and my son met a “best friend” who he is looking forward to seeing again soon.

So there have been some fun times in the middle of the responsible parenting moments. (You can click here for a peek at one of those moments.) Thank goodness. Maybe that is why my brain is still muddled with all my thoughts. I’m beginning to find a balance between sexy Stella time and responsible Mommy time. I’ve not really had that balance before and I don’t know how to process it. Also, what if I talk about all the good stuff in it and it all goes away? I don’t want it to go away.

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My Plan for 2015

Here were are halfway through January and I’ve not written a single thing. Not really. The few posts I do have weren’t my writing so they don’t count. So what’s up? Nothing, and everything all at once.

There is no real reason for me not to be writing. I’ve been busy but not too busy that I couldn’t find time. My focus this year was to be on the book and doing more regular posts here. How could that have fallen off track so quickly?

It hasn’t completely fallen off track, it’s just been taking a breather and gearing up for the year. I’ve put together ideas and made plans for things I would like to accomplish this year. Some are projects I started a while ago and let slide while doing other things. Others are things I’ve wanted to do but hadn’t put much effort towards previously.

This year I will endeavour to complete the following projects and post them here on the blog:
1. Alphabet Sex
2. 30 Days of Kink
3. 30 Days of Submission
4. 101 Things in 1001 Days (I’ve been quite lax on this)

A few other things I will be starting this year:
1. Silly Sad Sex Stories
2. Product Showcase
3. Noshes & Nibbles

The common thread here, which may not be obvious to many, is that all of these things are about me and my kinks. It’s time to shift the focus back to where it started, with me. 😉


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Thank You 2014

I’ve come a long way since starting my blogging journey just over two years ago. I want to take a moment to thank you all so very much for reading, for supporting me, and for all your encouragement. It has meant so much.

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2014 annual report for my blog. It was interesting comparing it to last year’s report. The most notable change was in the number of views on my busiest day. It went from 316 in 2013 to 1298 in 2014!

I am looking forward to another great year of posts and accomplishment. I do hope you will continue to join me.


Here’s an excerpt:

The concert hall at the Sydney Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 46,000 times in 2014. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 17 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.

Click here to see the complete report.

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Too Vanilla

Somebody told me my posts so far this month have been “too vanilla.” When I asked why he considered them too vanilla he said that I wrote a sex blog and there needed to be more sex. My response to that was to ask if he had sex every day. No, he said, but that’s your job, to write about sex and kinky stuff.

Let me first say, no, that is not my job. My job revolves around numbers and data and making sure my part of the finance department at the company who employs me runs properly. My next job is to raise my child to be a decent human being. This blog is not my job. It does take work but it is not my job.

This blog is about me, my life, my desires, and my thoughts on a variety of subjects. It is a place for me to express my creativity. Yes, my posts are mainly of the adult, sex and erotica nature, but that isn’t all of it. That isn’t all of it because my life and thoughts and desires involve more than that.

The tag line here says, “There are times to be vanilla and times you just have to get your kink on.” That’s my truth. I am a combination of both kink and vanilla, as we all are. The only difference between us is the degrees to which we are kinky or vanilla. My life is not 100% sex and kink so my blog isn’t 100% sex and kink.

To my reader’s credit though, there is more vanilla content this month than I would normally post. The reason for that is I am doing National Blog Posting Month, also known as NaBloPoMo. I have to post something every day this month. If I were having sex every day, or playing every day, then my posts would reflect that. But I’m not, so my posts aren’t.

The main reason I decided to participate in NaBloPoMo was to get me back into the mindset of writing and posting more often than I had been. Too often we let other things override our desire to write or because we aren’t in a “sexy” mood. These things have happened to me in the past and I’m sure they will again in the future. For now I am enjoying the creativity this exercise has sparked in me, how it is changing the way I look at certain things and yes, I will continue to share some of my more vanilla posts.





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#NaBloPoMo – October 2014

I’ve been more than a little lax in the blogging department lately. Sometimes the things you think will motivate you end up having the opposite affect. Such has happened with my son spending the summer away then coming back and starting school. No child for six whole weeks?! I’d get plenty written while he was gone. Fact is, I barely wrote a thing. I managed to stay active with the Sinful Sunday meme, but then that’s all about the picture, very little writing at all.

I thought once my son came home I would be back in my element and a writing I would go. no such luck. It was all about getting ready for school then getting into a good daily routine. I got into a routine alright. Up at 6:30, shower, feed the boy, get us dressed and out the door on time, work all day, come home, pick up the boy, cook dinner, play with the boy, put boy to bed, try not to fall asleep myself, make lunches for next day (WTF do you send in a 4yo’s lunch when he won’t eat sandwiches?), clean kitchen, off to bed, repeat. Still no writing going on.

I miss writing and blogging and being creative that way. Yes, Artist Wife and I have been working on some jewelry (see Boob Bling) but that is a different kind of creativity. I am finally starting to get the hang of things so it’s time to get back to writing and blogging and working on that creative part of me.

What can I do to get my groove back? A look at my 101 Things in 1001 Days, which I just realized has not had a single update this year even though I have done some of items, gave me the answer. I didn’t have to read far. #4. NaBloPoMo! What better way to get back in the blogging habit than having to do it every day? Before the month is over I should have formed a fine blogging habit.

I will do my best to post here every single day for the next 31 days. I have a bit of a plan but nothing in stone. There will be ramblings, thoughts on BDSM and kink, erotica, pictures (both vanilla and NSFW), and even a few guest posts if all goes well.

Wish me luck! 🙂


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