Posts Tagged ‘change’


That’s right, I’ve moved to a new self hosted site stellakiink.com. This blog will remain active for now but will be closed and redirected to the new site soon. Even though I’ve posted on various social media accounts I know not everyone will be aware of the move until they come here to check in.

As part of this move I will be transferring current subscribers to the new site, hopefully. I’m not very technically inclined so there’s a realistic chance it won’t work. If you currently follow me here I want to thank you for all your support and urge you to go over to the new site, stellakiink.com, bookmark it and subscribe there. I’ve already made a couple posts today and I wouldn’t want you to miss anything. 🙂

I look forward to having you all by my side on this new adventure.


P.S. This week’s Wicked Wednesday prompt is “Try something new.” It’s been a while since I’ve posted to Wicked Wednesday, but I felt it apt to post this notice as I started posting for Wicked Wednesday from the very beginning of my very first blog. It somehow feels right that my last post here will be to the Wicked Wednesday meme as well.


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Just Smile

Sometimes a smile is all you need.20141122-151126.jpg

When we are happy we can’t help but smile. Big grins ear to ear. Or maybe a coy smile, the kind we make when thinking about a loved one, the kind we make when we think nobody is watching.

There is more to the smile than the the actual smile too. There are the eyes. They light up when you have a genuine smile. There is a twinkle, a glow. Even if you are one of those people who doesn’t have a big grin to show off, you still have eyes that portray the smile your lips don’t.

When we feel down and blue we don’t often smile, but a smile from somebody else can make our day. It doesn’t have to be from anyone in particular, a total stranger will do, but somehow that smile touches us and makes us feel we aren’t alone.

When I look back at times in my life when I have struggled it was the kindness of strangers that helped me through. Their smile and helping hand did more for me than and doctor or pill or therapist could. They did more for me because I could see the genuine desire they had to help. They weren’t helping because they would earn a dollar by doing so. They weren’t helping because they got a kick-back form some pharmaceutical company. They helped because it made them feel good, and that showed in their smile.

20141122-151110.jpgThe same holds true for our partners, whether they be strictly play partners or forever loves. There is a joy that shows thru when they are truly enjoying what they are doing. We can’t help but notice even if they don’t. Even the sadist has a smile. A wicked evil one that may leave you scared of what could be coming next, but still you can see the genuine pleasure they are experiencing in the moment.

For those times when you are alone, when there is no stranger or partner or friend to give you the smile you need, just smile yourself. I’m not sure if this is a “fake it ’till you make it” kind of thing, or if it’s the smile that makes you happy versus being happy that makes you smile, but either way it will work. Come on, try it. 🙂


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I yearn. I don’t just long for or want or desire, I yearn.

A friend of mine is a Jehovah’s Witness and she was telling me recently how they came out with a new bible in modern day language. I doubt there will be LOLing in it, or twerking for that matter, but it is updated to make it easier for the vast majority of people to understand. She was quite excited by this. I was doubtful, but after getting a look at one I think it is terrible.

Regardless of what anyone may think of god, faith, or religion (which aren’t one in the same), or even if you don’t believe in any of it, you have to admit that the bible is a masterpiece of writing. It contains 66 books, nearly 1200 chapters, written by more than 40 people in 3 languages over a span of 1500 years. The language, the style of it, varies throughout. There is poetry and prose, historical accounts and prophecy. There are idioms, similes, parables, metaphors, and paradoxes. There is imagery, symbolism, personification, and parallelism. You will find even more great wordplay in the original language of the texts that was lost when it was translated to English.

Not that I read it really but I used to and I will still occasionally read something if I am going to visit a certain family member. It makes her feel good that I know it and we have some great conversations. If I didn’t read it I couldn’t properly question or criticize, or even agree which does happen. The thing is, I like the “old fashioned” romantic language of the bible I am used to. I like the yearning and charity, the thou and unto. I like the revelries, the palaces, the long-suffering and the worthy. Now there is longing for, love, you, and to. There are parties and houses, there are the patient and the good. Ok, so you understand the new words better, but why can’t you learn the old words, the beautiful words? Why dumb it down rather than teach people to understand? I don’t think the bible is the be all end all, but it is a great piece of writing and I hate seeing it dumbed down. It loses so much. Yearning, for example, elicits much more urgency than mere want or desire.

The language, even though translated, is beautiful. It takes some effort to work through some of the things the writers were trying to say, but that is what I like about it. It’s like breaking down a Robert Frost poem or a Shakespeare sonnet to understand its true meaning. The days of “See Spot. See Spot run” have long passed. If what I am reading doesn’t make me use my brain I’m not interested. And it has to be about more than the story. It has to be about the words and the way they are used, but it can also be about the story behind the story. I am a big fan of Edgar Allan Poe’s work but I am also intrigued by his life and the circumstances of his life when he wrote some of his works.

On to word porn. Now this is one of my favorite Facebook communities and Twitter handles. There seems to be a bit of repetition but I get something from it every single time they show up in my timelines. Some days it’s a quote or passage from a book, others it’s a new word. I finally found out want wonderwall means and how long ago did that song come out? I’m not going to do it here, but when I was in school and we’d have a list of new words to learn the meaning of each week I would always write a story with those words. We only had to use one or two words, but I have one I’ve kept that has a month’s worth  of words in it. Overachiever much? Yeah, that was me.

vocabularyThe quotes aren’t always thought provoking on their own, but the comments people make and the authors they introduce me to are. Take this post they put up last week. “Don’t underestimate the seductive power of a decent vocabulary.” Decent? That’s what they said. Decent. My first thought was how sad it is that a decent is something great. What ever happened to being well read? Then another follower posted this response, “just a ‘decent’ vocabulary? what about the power of an expansive vocabulary or a remarkable vocabulary or an idiosyncratic vocabulary or a deliberate vocabulary or an unrestricted vocabulary or a vocabulary that swims through the more elusive parts of what it means to communicate emotions?” Well said!

It is just another symptom of dumbing down for the masses, of being lazy, rather than teaching them to learn. I met a young man not too long ago who wants to be a pilot. Problem is he graduated high school not being able to read or write. He graduated! No teacher thought it was important for him to be able to read or write. They thought he was smart enough to pass, to graduate and go out into the world to find a job and make a living for himself and one day his family. Sure, he can put down on his job application that he is a high school graduate, or he could, if he knew what the application was asking and how to write it. He’s had to go back to school to learn how to read and write on his own dime because there is no way he will make it through to be a pilot without being able to read the manuals and study them. Even if he wanted to be something else, he would never make it through college or university with the education he received.

It scares me to think of what school will be like for my son. I will have to push and teach him the things they no longer teach in the schools. I will have to give him words to learn. I will have to teach him how to write with a pencil and paper. I will have to show him how to do math without a calculator. I will have to teach him deductive reasoning. I will have to introduce him to books, real books. I will have to get him involved in sports and outdoor activities to get him away from constantly sitting behind a computer screen. I will have to instill in him a desire to learn and to not accept decent as being good enough.

An intelligent heart acquires knowledge, and the ear of the wise seeks knowledge ~ Proverbs 18:15



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