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Posts Tagged ‘dominant’

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You should always trust your body and it’s limitations. Easily said when you are living a vanilla life, but not so when you enter the world of kink and BDSM. It isn’t that easy because we are may be pushing a limit, some boundary that we want to move beyond or that our Dom wants to help us move beyond. We will engage in activities that cause pain or draw blood, or that generally scare the shit out of us and excite us to no end at the same time. We test ourselves, our Dom’s test us, we test them…. (Yes, we test you. It’s true. Any sub who says they do not or have not tested their Dom is lying.)

The thing is though, that our bodies can only go so far and we need to recognize that before we do great harm. When our endorphins are rushing through us and we start heading off into subspace we can miss or neglect the signs of going to far. This is when you need to trust your Dom to notice the signs for you. When you can’t trust your body, trust your Dom. If you can not trust your Dom then you need to find another.

When your Dom is whipping you and you start to fly you aren’t paying attention to your body heating up or the shakes that start or the fact that you are unable to respond in any comprehensible manner to the pain he is inflicting on your body. Even if we like it, it’s still pain and pain can mean damage. You aren’t paying attention to the signs your body is giving you, but he is. He is checking in with you throughout the scene and notices every little movement and nuance of your body. He knows how it reacts and when it reaches it’s limits.

This means that even though you didn’t use your safe word or get to the point of play that you thought you would, he is going to stop the scene. He should stop the scene. If you are in a public play space or play party and he doesn’t stop the scene a DM will. Keep in mind that just because someone has to step in to stop a scene does not mean that you have a bad Dom. It could be that while you are flying into subspace he is flying into Domspace and not fully aware of the situation. When he is checking in with you during your scene you should be checking on him as well. This way you will notice if he is starting to fly or if he is becoming agitated and you can stop the scene at that time.

I know I said trust your body and if you can’t trust your body trust your Dom, but the reality is we are all human and there may occasionally be times when things happen that we don’t expect or are out of our control. This absolutely must not be the norm. If this becomes the norm you need to find another Dom.

When you aren’t able to trust your body, here are some things your Dom is looking at:

  1. Your breathing – Is your breathing becoming shallow or erratic? Are you having a hard time catching your breath? Maybe you have asthma and an attack is coming.
  2. Your ability to communicate – If you needed to use your safe word, could you? If you can’t communicate verbally are you able to communicate another way?
  3. The sounds you make – Have you stopped making sounds you normally would make? Are you being more vocal than usual?
  4. Your body shaking or lack of movement – How does your body normally react to what he is doing? How is it reacting now?
  5. Your eyes – Are you able to focus on him or something in the room?
  6. Your sense of touch – Do you feel the whip as it makes contact? Are you numb? Is your skin overly sensitive?

These are just a handful of signs your Dom may be looking at. I am by no means an expert on the matter. There can be many more and different signs depending on the dynamics of the people involved and the kind of scene they are having.

 

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So, I’ve been on FetLife for a little over two years now and some of the messages I get still surprise me. Even when the messages seem sensible I will go check out their profile and be caught off guard by how different it is from the message. I guess things shouldn’t surprise me since new members are always joining, and there are douches everywhere, but they do.

FetLife is a social network for the kink and BDSM community, not a dating site. There are groups for people looking and yes, people do hook up just like on any regular dating site, but that isn’t the premise of the sight and shouldn’t be the only reason they are there. That isn’t why I am there. It did start out that way though, looking for a threesome with the man I was involved with at the time. I am there to learn, more about me than anything else, and to meet like-minded people.

That doesn’t stop people from joining and sending messages or posting to groups about how they are looking for someone to fuck that night or asking who wants a blowjob. These people aren’t really in the lifestyle, or are genuinely interested but too young and eager. Either way, they will soon learn and calm the fuck down or leave the site because nobody is responding to their eloquent come-ons. In the meantime we still have to deal with their nonsense.

It wasn’t too bad for a while. My profile stated that I was owned and for the most part that kept the riff-raff away. There were some very young men who messaged me but once I responded with a “What do you think being owned means?” they said their little I’m sorry’s and disappeared. Then, just over a week ago I removed the owned status. Not because I don’t still feel owned by MySir, but because he has disengaged and if I left it as it was I would continue to hold back and wait and hope pine over him. It was keeping me from giving other people a chance. I don’t know if he will be back. I don’t know if he wants to or if he’s even capable of it. I love him. I love him but I can’t not live my life because I am waiting for something that may never happen.

After I changed my status a young man sent me a message. He said he was “really interested in talking to you and learn more about you. I am very open, been in bdsm world for many years now, experienced, have had subs in the past. I am very respectful…  know how to treat my girl… I would love to find one girl for long term ongoing.” Then, another message or two and I get “If you know any single sexual kinky girl who wants ongoing i be up for that. If not still love to play with you once be dirty and see how the experience goes.”

My first issue with this message is that he obviously did not read or comprehend the first few sentences on my profile, otherwise he would know that I am not interested in one night stands and casual encounters and would not have suggested such. Second, if he was really interested in talking to me and learning more about me he wouldn’t have asked me to set him up with someone else. If he was truly respectful and knew how to treat a woman he wouldn’t have said the things he did. And, if he is really looking to find that right person for a long term relationship, he sure as hell does not know how to go about it.

There is one profile of a  63 year old “strict master” that takes the cake for me. He “hope(s) to find a relationship” and is “interested in females, sub/sub couples, sub fem/Dom male couples, and willing to entertain other possibilities…. Looks, age, and race are not important. A genuine need to submit and be dominated is…. I can adjust to the needs of the one I am with as long as it is understood that I am in charge totally….  I prefer someone with experience (but) I am willing to train an enthusiastic novice.” There are no photos on his profile and he says it’s because I’m fairly high profile in my community. discursion does not permit me to post a photo.”

What this profile says to me is that he is desperate and will fuck or play with anyone who is interested. Seriously? He has no type? Who does he hope to find a relationship with? The sub fem/Dom male couple? Is a Dom male going to let him be totally in charge? I don’t think so. And I get that some people don’t want to put a picture of themselves up, but put something, anything, that reflects who you are or what you like. Discursion. I’m sure he meant discretion there. We all make mistakes so I won’t pick on that one. I checked his activity and it is a list of short comments on women’s pictures. Cute. Lovely. Attractive. Beautiful. Nice. Quite nice. Very nice. Nice start. Good start…. You get the idea. There were 59 comments like that in the last two hours. Not a way to make one appear genuine and discerning.

I was talking about these and other messages/profiles with a friend who is also on FetLife the other night. He said he doubted these people got any kind of positive response, but if they did he wondered what kind of person would be responding. My thought is that there are as many desperate and insecure women as there are men like these. There are too many women who believe that to be a Dom, or Dominant, means that they should also be arrogant and domineering, and there are too many men who abuse the title of Dominant or assume the title because they are arrogant and domineering. They abuse the title, the role, and the women who fall for their lines.

Being submissive does not mean you need to be a doormat and accept what someone says at face value without doing some homework. It is ok to ask for references. It is ok to be cautious. It is ok to question. It is ok to just say no thank you. It is ok to stand up for yourself, for what you believe and what you want. It is ok to be alone while you wait for what is right. It is more than ok. A good Dom will help you shine brighter, not squash your spirit. They will help guide you and teach you. They will respect and honor you. They will help you become your best self, just as you help them do the same.

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Dungeons and Dommes

I am off to a party this evening.

It’s someone’s birthday, but it isn’t a birthday party. She will be handing out spankings though.

There will be plenty of ladies, but not ladies of the night. Dommes who will happily put you in your slave boy place.

There will be food, but not hot dogs. The wieners and buns will be body parts out for play.

There will be party favours, but not those little loot bags you’re used to. Here will be cuffs and collars and corsets, whips and floggers and crops.

There will be shoes and rugs, but the rugs will be human. Foot fetishists to lick your toes and suck your heels.

There will be men and women, subs and slaves, Doms and Dommes, and a variety of sexy kinksters.

This is a house party, but the house has a dungeon with plenty of toys to play with.

I’m going to a party this evening.

What the hell do I wear?

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Another timely post by Vile…

thekinkyworldofvile

Your a new Submissive or Slave a you recently became interested in the BDSM lifestyle. You have done your research , you have read blogs, been in chat rooms and stil no luck.

Fetlife can be an awesome site. You can learn a lot from the different groups, tons of information made available to you for no cost, unless you want to Donate so you can watch video’s

Then comes ALT.com at one time Alt was a very good site to meet singles. That was before computers became so popular, I am going back some ten years. Now the site consist of mainly spam, and those Doms who are lurking in the dark for their next victim.

Then the one that is used the most today is Collarme.com. Mostly spam I have seen men spend a lot of money , sending money to females they have never met for a…

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Q3 of The Game, a side story of the Life With Victor (LWV) series. You can catch up here if you have not been following along.


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His hand is on my leg and I could swear it is Victor. He isn’t answering me though. Maybe he’s not sure what to do now that I’ve realized it is him. As I wait for him to answer me I hear a car in the drive. What the hell does he have planned?

Victor? What’s going on? What have you planned? I stop when I hear keys in the lock. Could this be someone else, not Victor? No, I couldn’t possible mistake another man for my husband. As I think this I realize that only a few short moments ago I didn’t think it was my husband at all.

Victor leaves me and goes to the door. Who are you, I hear him say before the sounds of two men fighting and someone being knocked or thrown to the ground start. Is this part of his plan, or is something else going on? Is there a real intruder in the house now?

There is some shuffling and then what sounds like someone being dragged across the room. I feel him being dropped beside me. Please don’t let it be Victor. Please let him have overtaken whoever the intruder into our home is. The hood over my face is removed and I am shocked to see who is laying beside me. I blink, willing my eyes to see someone else, but the face doesn’t change, it is Victor laying bound before me. Above him, a masked man holding a knife to his throat and spouting a threat I don’t understand. And even though I now know it isn’t Victor, there is still something so familiar about him.

I see the fear in Victor’s eyes as the intruder presses a knife to his throat. I catch a tear escape him before he turns his face away from me. I have never seen him look so vulnerable. He is my rock, my strength, nothing scares him. Seeing him like this is just wrong. I feel him tremble as the intruder forces him down with his knee and whispers something to him I don’t quite catch. My mind is racing and my heart is beating too loud to focus on what is happening right next to me.

Now you will get to see what is in store for you, you little slut! I am snapped back to reality by the intruder growling at me as he unzips his pants and tells Victor to suck it. OMG! Victor would never do that. He turns to the intruder and looks like he is going to bite his cock off. The intruder slaps him right across the face then threatens with the knife again.

I can tell my mouth has dropped open and I appear to be in total shock. I am in shock. Not because the intruder is doing this to Victor though, I am in shock at how seeing him in this way affects me. I so want to see it. I never entertained the thought before, because I knew he would be dead set against it but the thought of seeing him suck another man off excites me so, makes my cunt all wet and achy.

I look away, afraid I will show my excitement, afraid they will sense it. My body has a way of betraying me at some very inappropriate times. Being turned on, while at the mercy of an intruder and watching him demean my husband, would certainly count as inappropriate. I don’t need Victor, or the intruder, to see my nipples straining against my blouse or smell that hot musky scent that I know is growing between my legs.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I try to look panicked as the “intruder” has me at knife point. I even manage to force a tear as I plead for him to not hurt us. I wish he would roll me over though because the erection in my pants is killing me in this position. I feel his knee in my back as his hot breath caresses the skin on my neck. His whispered threat alone almost makes me cum, but I know this would be a bad thing. I am enjoying this scene we have concocted.

Now you will get to see what is in store for you, you little slut! My old master’s voice sends a chill along my spine as he growls this threat to Tasha.

He unzips his pants as his beautiful thick cock springs free. Restraint Victor, I keep saying over and over in my head as my mouth waters, must not give in to my desires just yet.

You’re going to suck it and show her what a good cock lover you are, he growls at me.

No I won’t, I say through clenched teeth, shaking my head at the same time.

The slap across my face stings but is worth it as I see the look on Tasha’s face. Shock and surprise as her master is now at the mercy of another man. She tries to look away as I am rolled over but she is transfixed as the cock is lowered. I act like I am going to bite it.

Bite it and my blade will bite through your throat. The blade presses against my throat once again.

You will watch, the intruder growls at Tasha, as she tries to look away. I can see the blush in her face out of the corner of my eye, that look of hunger and lust I know so well. I hide my smile as I realize this is really turning her on. I keep up the pretense for a little longer as his cock is now “forced” into my mouth.

It is far from force, and not the first time I have enjoyed the sensation of it sliding across my tongue. I let it slide to the back of my throat and open up as best I can as he begins to face fuck me. It is like old times as I can feel him fucking my mouth, owning me. My eyes water as I gag on his thick shaft filling me.

His hand now reaches to the back of my head, pulling me more forcefully to him. I have become his single desire. Faster and faster, I can feel his cock swelling as he continues to fuck my mouth. I let go of the binding I had been holding on to so as to look tied up. My hand now reaches for his hips as my tongue swirls around his salty sweet cock. I hear Tasha gasp at the scene she is now witnessing.
His flood comes without a warning and I swallow as much as I can. I feel it leaking around my lips, dripping on my chin, as he pulls out. He leans down and kisses me, licking the remaining juices from me.

Tasha, I would like to introduce my old master, Ron. Remember that time you said you wanted to see two men together? I know you didn’t think one of those men would be me. The abduction was my price for disregarding the rules, this is the beginning of a very wonderful gift for you.

I hear her moan and I know her juices are running like a busted dam now as Ron reaches over and unties her.


I do not ask to the night explanations,
I wait for it and it envelops me,
~ Pablo Neruda



Note: I would like to give a special thanks to Lord Raven for giving voice to Victor again this week.

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The second quarter of The Game, a side story born from the Life With Victor (LWV) series. You can catch up here if you have not been following along.


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Holy fuck! Where is Victor? What has this monster done with him? Victor? VICTOR! I cry out in panic, panic and hopes that he will come save me like he always does. Maybe he wasn’t even home. Maybe he will walk through the door any second. Maybe. Possibly. Hopefully. VICTOR! VICTOR!

Panic. Who is this guy, and what does he want with me? Is he going to kill me? No, I am not going to die, I am going to fight. I may not be big and strong but I’ll fight as hard as I can to save myself. I kick and wail out at him, I can tell I am getting him good by the groans he lets out. His groans, they seem familiar. It must be somebody I know or have met somewhere. More kicking and hitting as he tries to tie me up. I can’t let him do that. I’ll be dead, or worse, if he gets me tied up and unable to fight.

Oh no, he’s got me bound and is throwing me over his shoulder. There is something familiar about him. I can’t put my finger on it. He’s carrying me somewhere now. Where is he taking me? I can’t tell with tall the turning here and there. Did we leave the house? No, he couldn’t get me out a door without me noticing. I could be right back in the same spot I started for all I know. I keep trying to get free but all I am doing is tiring myself out. This is much harder when you are fighting for real versus playing like we do. There is always a stop point, a play point, a take what you want while I pretend it isn’t actually what I want point. That isn’t going to happen here.

He throws me down onto something soft. Cushions? The sofa maybe. No, I don’t feel the ends or the back, it isn’t the sofa. Bed? No, I am sure he didn’t carry me upstairs. Where has he taken me? I hear something, a zipper. A ZIPPER! No. No. NO! NO!

I know what’s coming. Hearing a zipper being pulled down can only mean one thing, I am going to be raped by this monster in my own home. Why isn’t Victor here, where is he? If I had made it home on time this wouldn’t be happening. Or would it? Something, I don’t know what, is gnawing away at my brain. That sense of familiarity. Before I can process that thought, my legs are pushed apart and my panties pulled and torn clean off me. I scream as they dig in before giving way and ripping apart.

I pull my legs up and press them tightly together, trying to cover myself as best I can, trying to shield myself from him. It does not help as he is much stronger than me. He grabs my legs again, forcing them down and apart. He moves in closer and I feel him pressed against me. I thrash and try to kick him away.

Stop fighting Little Whore!

I stop and become instantly still, even my breath is held. I cock my head slightly, straining to hear every little sound. Did I hear that right? I couldn’t have, could I? Now that sense of familiarity I was having has become suddenly quite clear. The sound of his groans. The way he threw me over his shoulder. It has to be. I sense him become still as well and I am certain. He has given himself away. It is Victor.

But why is he doing this? We have never played rape or abduction scenes, barely even discussed them. I am at a loss.

Victor? Victor? Is that you?

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Tasha put up one hell of a fight. It was frustrating and damn hot at the same time. Now that she has been subdued I can finally get down to the business at hand, teaching her to obey the rules, to obey me. Unzipping the bag I watch her shudder at the sound and cry out in terror. Her screams, muffled under the hood, are an unexpected bonus.

I take out one of her favorite toys, the life like cock. It feels so real in my hand I begin to have second thoughts about continuing. No, this is what needs to be done, to remind her that I own her, that every inch of her is mine. I push her legs apart and pull down her underwear. I have a strict rule that she is supposed to take them off when she enters the house. This violation will be remedied right now. I hear her scream and the material digs in before it is ripped apart. I am a little bit disappointed to destroy that pair, they were a favorite to have her walk around in when I had guests. Oh well, rules will be followed no matter the cost.

I force her legs apart and get into position, I know she is still clueless as to who has her trapped as I push the toy against her pussy’s opening. She thrashes around making this harder. I am amazed she is fighting so until I suddenly realize, she thinks this is the real deal and I am a rapist. I had been sitting here planning it, mulling it over in my head, all day. I know what I am doing but she hasn’t been filled in on it yet, she thinks I am a rapist about to take her by force. My cock responds instantly to that thought by demanding a release in the excitement. I know I can’t, she would know it was me in an instant. I want to torment her for a while longer.

She continues kicking at me and I can’t quite get her under control. Stop fighting Little Whore!

I realize immediately what I have done. Tasha suddenly stops fighting, her stillness is unnerving. Has she figured it out? Did I betray myself in this sinister plan? She calls out to me. Damn!

None the less, I will continue this a while more. My cock is demanding its payment for being so patient with her and for having been made to wait as I have. It has been in constant arousal since I started forming this plan. We had discussed a forced scene only briefly quite a while back. I wanted to do it then but I knew she wasn’t ready. I also knew it could be a great learning tool at some point. This was that point.

A car door slams outside and the next part of my plan goes into effect. I have been quite clever with this and had set up a friend to help. I leave her bound and get up, running away as if I am an intruder about to flee. The sound of the front door opening has all been arranged.

Who are you? I bark, at the “intruder”.

The sound of an ensuing scuffle breaks out, then a thud as I let myself fall to the floor. The ropes are fashioned just as they have been in the past. Yes, I know my attacker and his hands are no stranger to me. I momentarily reminisce as I am dragged into the room and dropped next to Tasha. I look over at her as her hood is removed. The mask is no longer over my face and she gasps at seeing me bound beside her.

My former master and long time friend is knelt over me, his face now masked, with a blade at my throat. So you try to come play the hero, his voice sounding all husky and evil. It is a role he plays particularly well. I was just about to enjoy your little tart here, but now that you’ve decided to make your way home and interrupt my pleasure, I think it better she should watch and see what will become her fate.

I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.
~ Pablo Neruda



Note: I would like to give a special thanks to Lord Raven for giving voice to Victor again this week.

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The first piece of The Game, a side story that continues from the Life With Victor (LWV) series. You can catch up here if you have not been following along.

 

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She touched the little box in her pocket and smiled. Memories can be beautiful things sometimes. To have them come flooding back just by acknowledging the tiny trinket box in her possession was wonderful after the past couple of months. It was nice to genuinely smile again. It was like hearing a song and being transported back to that eighth grade dance with John Critchner holding her tight and grabbing her ass. It seemed so risqué at the time. If she had only known how risqué things would get, and how she would love them that way.

Another smile as Tasha thinks about her husband, then fading as she thinks about how upset he is going to be with her for being late again. It just couldn’t be helped. The company wasn’t doing well, there were a lot of people being let go and getting all their packages together was a long and tedious process. Gerry constantly changing days on her was not helping matters. She knows he doesn’t want to let people go but he really has no choice, he will lose his company if he doesn’t. All she can do is push him and then do everything over again when he doesn’t do what he is supposed to when he is supposed to do it. She is beginning to think it would be better to fly out to Chicago and do the lay-offs herself. That definitely wouldn’t go over well with Victor.

She was surprised he hadn’t said anything yet. It wasn’t like him. He would never put up with her being at the office so much without a reprimand of some sort. She had learned long ago that there were consequences to everything. Maybe he was still being nice because of what happened during their trip. Tasha decided she would talk with him that night, tell him to stop being so overly forgiving, overly considerate, and get back to being his sadist self. She wants him to play with her, to use her, to make her his little whore. She needs him to. She just needs him.

Tasha finally arrives home, two hours late. No lights. He’s not home.

She wonders where he could be at this hour. He is always home for dinner, unless she is meeting him somewhere. Was she supposed to meet him somewhere? Did she forget? She checks her phone. Oh no, where is it? She must have left it in her desk. Damn it, she thought, just what I need. Hmmm, maybe it is just what she needs. Victor will surely have something to say about it when he gets home, and what if she was supposed to meet him, that would anger him even more. Damn it! Where is the goddamn phone? And where is Victor?

She looks around but there is no note, nothing. Into the kitchen, nothing there either. No dinner cooking. No note. No Victor. She may as well put her coat away, go upstairs and draw a bath, she thought. She wants to relax and unwind a bit, if she can, before he returns. It’s been too long a day already and she is sure it won’t be any easier when he gets back from wherever he went. Whether it’s just her being late or the addition of her forgetting something, there is no question he is going to be upset, and rightly so. She knows the rules and deserves whatever punishment he sees fit.

No use dwelling on it now. She will just get all worked up and make things worse, if that’s at all possible. She is prone to such things. If there’s a way to fuck something up she will surely find it. Sometimes it’s the wrong word or a questioning look. She should never question him, his actions, or his motives. Whatever he sees fit is the way it is. She is just his little whore.

She can’t postpone the inevitable by not doing anything now. If she just sits there waiting, the minutes, though passing in exactly the same time they always do, will feel like hours and she will drive herself mad. She opens the closet door to find a stranger behind it. Before it fully registers, he has her pushed up against the wall. Not even a scream escapes her lips. What is he going to do to her? Oh my god, she thinks, what has he done to Victor?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alone, in a room is as dark as my mood, I wait. Tasha is late again and this is becoming the norm. I think she needs a not so gentle reminder of what time she is supposed to be home. The sweet feel of the leather in my hand, soothing in its softness, will not feel nearly as sweet to her as it lands across her bare flesh. She must pay the price for her inconsiderate tardiness so she will learn, so she will follow and respect the rules.

Headlights flash across the curtain. It’s about time. Just a few more minutes now. Putting the mask on, I lean further back into the darkness and wait.

The keys in the door announce her arrival, two hours late. There is no excuse for this, I am fuming. Tasha will learn what it means to be in MY service. She walks right by me and turns on the hall light, not at all aware of me waiting behind the closet door. I do one last look at my phone and see that the last message never went. Still, things are already in motion and she should have let me know she was going to be late again. I have been too lenient as of late but that is about to change.

I watch from the crack of the door as she walks around looking dejected, thinking I am not here. She takes off her coat and walks to the closet to hang it up. She opens the door and freezes. In that moment I grab her and push her to the wall. So, you’re the one Vic has been talking about, his precious one. Nice to see he has great taste, I will enjoy this. My voice disguised as much as possible.

I savor the look of panic and fear but a moment before I pull the hood over her face. She fights like a wild cat, screaming my name all the while. I realize I have made the illusion complete. Claws and kicks find their mark and threaten to do bodily harm. It takes a bit to immobilize her, the rope is not as easy to use as I was expecting. A willing partner is much easier to bind than an unwilling one.

Finally she is tied, hand and foot, and her body is now much easier to control as I toss her over my shoulder. I carry her around the house, turning this way and that. I make sure she has no idea where we are or what is happening. Her struggles make it a challenge as the rush of what is coming next turns my cock into a raging hard on. That must wait for now. I finally reach my destination and toss Tasha onto the prepared cushions. I just let her lay there for the moment, knowing her mind is racing in a world of confusion.


Note: I would like to give a special thanks to Lord Raven for giving Victor his voice. Stay tuned, we will hear more from him in the coming weeks.

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