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Posts Tagged ‘mindset’

Three weeks ago I left work, two hours later than usual, and went to pick my son up from his Auntie. As I pulled into the parking lot and reached for my purse I suddenly realized I had left it at the office. Not only did I leave it at work, I left it on my desk in an office that runs 24/7. My department doesn’t work 24/7 but several do and one of them is right next to mine. Unfortunately I didn’t know any of the people who were working in the office that night so once I picked my son up I had to haul my ass back to the office to retrieve my purse.

This is something that happens to me on too regular a basis, although that was the first time I had left it at the office. Today was the second time. At least today I left it locked away in a drawer. Thankfully I had petty cash delivered and my purse was in the drawer I lock the petty cash in. When did I notice my purse was missing? About ten minutes ago when I went to get my wallet to make an online purchase.

I once went to pick up groceries and realized my wallet wasn’t with me when I went to pay. Yeah, that was embarrassing with a line of people behind me. That was the beginning of one of the most unforgettable days of my life, and not because it was a great day. Actually, tomorrow will mark the 14th anniversary of that day. Yes, I remember it quite vividly still. Being without my wallet at the grocery store was just the beginning. After the grocery store embarrassment I caught the oven on fire while cooking dinner. And no, I’m not a bad cook. Honestly. Once I got that mess cleaned up I headed out to a movie with a friend. When the movie was over we came out to the parking lot to find my car one tire short. Someone had taken it and left my car sitting there all wonky on three tires. Was that the end? Nope. I capped the day off at the hospital getting five stitches in my finger. Now do you understand why I remember that day so well?

Despite the terrible day that was, there was another day when forgetting my purse was worse. My ex and I were going through separation and I had decided to go on vacation to a spot I enjoy on the north shore of Lake Superior. I thought a week away on the lake with no phone or television would do wonders for my state of mind. I needed to do something but that trip wasn’t it. I was at the airport, bags and ticket in hand, when I realized I had left my purse at home.

I can’t even begin to explain to you how I felt at that moment. I was sabotaging myself. I was falling apart and losing my mind in the process. The inn was understanding and didn’t charge me for the short cancellation notice and the plane ticket was booked with points so I wasn’t out any money, but that wasn’t the point. It didn’t matter that I was only going 1200 kms away or if I was going to the other side of the planet. I was so sad and heartbroken. My ex didn’t make me feel any better about it.

There were reasons I was being absent-minded about my purse all those years ago. What are the reasons behind it now? How do I get my mind back? How do I stop leaving my purse places? How do I keep my head attached so I don’t accidentally leave it somewhere one day?

 

 

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Q3 of The Game, a side story of the Life With Victor (LWV) series. You can catch up here if you have not been following along.


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His hand is on my leg and I could swear it is Victor. He isn’t answering me though. Maybe he’s not sure what to do now that I’ve realized it is him. As I wait for him to answer me I hear a car in the drive. What the hell does he have planned?

Victor? What’s going on? What have you planned? I stop when I hear keys in the lock. Could this be someone else, not Victor? No, I couldn’t possible mistake another man for my husband. As I think this I realize that only a few short moments ago I didn’t think it was my husband at all.

Victor leaves me and goes to the door. Who are you, I hear him say before the sounds of two men fighting and someone being knocked or thrown to the ground start. Is this part of his plan, or is something else going on? Is there a real intruder in the house now?

There is some shuffling and then what sounds like someone being dragged across the room. I feel him being dropped beside me. Please don’t let it be Victor. Please let him have overtaken whoever the intruder into our home is. The hood over my face is removed and I am shocked to see who is laying beside me. I blink, willing my eyes to see someone else, but the face doesn’t change, it is Victor laying bound before me. Above him, a masked man holding a knife to his throat and spouting a threat I don’t understand. And even though I now know it isn’t Victor, there is still something so familiar about him.

I see the fear in Victor’s eyes as the intruder presses a knife to his throat. I catch a tear escape him before he turns his face away from me. I have never seen him look so vulnerable. He is my rock, my strength, nothing scares him. Seeing him like this is just wrong. I feel him tremble as the intruder forces him down with his knee and whispers something to him I don’t quite catch. My mind is racing and my heart is beating too loud to focus on what is happening right next to me.

Now you will get to see what is in store for you, you little slut! I am snapped back to reality by the intruder growling at me as he unzips his pants and tells Victor to suck it. OMG! Victor would never do that. He turns to the intruder and looks like he is going to bite his cock off. The intruder slaps him right across the face then threatens with the knife again.

I can tell my mouth has dropped open and I appear to be in total shock. I am in shock. Not because the intruder is doing this to Victor though, I am in shock at how seeing him in this way affects me. I so want to see it. I never entertained the thought before, because I knew he would be dead set against it but the thought of seeing him suck another man off excites me so, makes my cunt all wet and achy.

I look away, afraid I will show my excitement, afraid they will sense it. My body has a way of betraying me at some very inappropriate times. Being turned on, while at the mercy of an intruder and watching him demean my husband, would certainly count as inappropriate. I don’t need Victor, or the intruder, to see my nipples straining against my blouse or smell that hot musky scent that I know is growing between my legs.

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I try to look panicked as the “intruder” has me at knife point. I even manage to force a tear as I plead for him to not hurt us. I wish he would roll me over though because the erection in my pants is killing me in this position. I feel his knee in my back as his hot breath caresses the skin on my neck. His whispered threat alone almost makes me cum, but I know this would be a bad thing. I am enjoying this scene we have concocted.

Now you will get to see what is in store for you, you little slut! My old master’s voice sends a chill along my spine as he growls this threat to Tasha.

He unzips his pants as his beautiful thick cock springs free. Restraint Victor, I keep saying over and over in my head as my mouth waters, must not give in to my desires just yet.

You’re going to suck it and show her what a good cock lover you are, he growls at me.

No I won’t, I say through clenched teeth, shaking my head at the same time.

The slap across my face stings but is worth it as I see the look on Tasha’s face. Shock and surprise as her master is now at the mercy of another man. She tries to look away as I am rolled over but she is transfixed as the cock is lowered. I act like I am going to bite it.

Bite it and my blade will bite through your throat. The blade presses against my throat once again.

You will watch, the intruder growls at Tasha, as she tries to look away. I can see the blush in her face out of the corner of my eye, that look of hunger and lust I know so well. I hide my smile as I realize this is really turning her on. I keep up the pretense for a little longer as his cock is now “forced” into my mouth.

It is far from force, and not the first time I have enjoyed the sensation of it sliding across my tongue. I let it slide to the back of my throat and open up as best I can as he begins to face fuck me. It is like old times as I can feel him fucking my mouth, owning me. My eyes water as I gag on his thick shaft filling me.

His hand now reaches to the back of my head, pulling me more forcefully to him. I have become his single desire. Faster and faster, I can feel his cock swelling as he continues to fuck my mouth. I let go of the binding I had been holding on to so as to look tied up. My hand now reaches for his hips as my tongue swirls around his salty sweet cock. I hear Tasha gasp at the scene she is now witnessing.
His flood comes without a warning and I swallow as much as I can. I feel it leaking around my lips, dripping on my chin, as he pulls out. He leans down and kisses me, licking the remaining juices from me.

Tasha, I would like to introduce my old master, Ron. Remember that time you said you wanted to see two men together? I know you didn’t think one of those men would be me. The abduction was my price for disregarding the rules, this is the beginning of a very wonderful gift for you.

I hear her moan and I know her juices are running like a busted dam now as Ron reaches over and unties her.


I do not ask to the night explanations,
I wait for it and it envelops me,
~ Pablo Neruda



Note: I would like to give a special thanks to Lord Raven for giving voice to Victor again this week.

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