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First Contact

“She brought me closer to humanity than I ever thought possible.
And for a time, I was tempted by her offer.”
~ Star Trek: First Contact

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No matter how many times you are together, be it just that once or for years to come, there is nothing quite like that moment of first contact.

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You Rise

You rise
In the darkness of the night
The light
Too far off to save me
You move
Closer to me
Your hands
All over me
Your mouth
Searching
I wake
But barely
Still floating between sweet dream
And reality
I want
You
I need to feel you
To taste you
Just as you need the same
Of me
Hands stroke
And play
Pleading for more
I ache
To feel you
All of you
Where you belong
Where you crave to be
Inside of me
We play this game
Before the morning dawn
A game we both win
When
You rise

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All In ~ Anonymous

Today’s post is by a friend who wishes to remain anonymous. He has contributed previously with One Special Soul. I hope you enjoy his erotic touch on this one.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

hands in your hair
pulling your head back
you on all fours
as I fuck your little pink asshole
you may rub your clit
as I work on making you gape
you may cuss
and swear
and tell me what you like
as I fuck you
all in
all out
your asshole
opening and closing
stretching it
flexing it
then alternating
ass and pussy
till you are cussing
and begging
and screaming
but listen
for me cumming
because you are getting this load
in your open mouth
as you fist pump
my cock
like fury as I cum
heavy and like a train
onto your face
into your mouth

~ Anonymous

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Have you ever had an experience you were too naïve to understand or appreciate? So erotic, but you were too insecure to just let it be and embrace it? I relive the following experience in my head over and over again. It’s been 25 years, yet when I close my eyes I am transported back to that little bedroom with that amazing young man I was completely mad about yet unable to love the way he wanted and deserved. I’ve had this written for a while but couldn’t quite get the style of it the way I wanted. I didn’t want a poem or a long story so I was left with breaking the rules.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~



Standing in the middle of a dark room,

nearly pitch black

and I can’t see a thing.

But I can feel him,

his breath against my neck,

his hands gently caressing me.

I tingle all over.

My breath grows shallow.

No words.

He stands in front of me.

Close enough for me to reach out and touch,

but I don’t dare.

The buttons on my blouse

slowly, ever so slowly,

come undone.

His hand glides across my shoulder

pushing my blouse off.

Next, the other shoulder

then he pulls the sleeves

one at a time

and lets it fall to the floor.

Gentle kisses on my neck,

my collarbone,

as his hands now move lower.

The pop of another button

precedes the sound of a zipper,

my zipper,

slowly going down.

Achingly slow.

I hear every catch of the zipper as he goes.

Two hands now move across my hips

down the back of my jeans

pushing them down,

past my behind,

down to my knees.

Lift, he says.

One foot,

then the next,

as my jeans join my blouse

on the floor.

His arms are around me now

tugging at the clasp

of my bra.

Easily unhooked

it is swept from my shoulders

and drops to the floor.

The pile of shed clothing grows.

He cups each breast,

squeezes

and kisses them tenderly.

My nipples ache for more

but I dare not ask.

I am a good girl,

I don’t do such things.

He kneels in front of me

and slips his hands

under the waistband of my panties.

His hands slide down my thighs

bringing the soft fabric with them.

Lift, he says again.

One foot,

then the other,

and I am naked.

He leans in now,

buries his head

between my legs.

I tremble

nervously,

yet completely turned on.

Soft moans escape

as his tongue makes contact.

Oh my!

Off his knees now,

he kisses me

before taking my hand

and walking me over to the bed.

He pulls the sheets back

and sits me down.

I hear the sounds of his clothes

now being removed

and left in their own

crumpled pile on the floor.

Gently,

tenderly,

he takes me.

 

 

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Once a cheater, always a cheater.

We’ve all heard the saying. Usually it comes from some hurt spouse or ex-spouse. Though I have heard this from a man it is most often heard from a woman, either a girlfriend, wife, or disgruntled mistress. Some people are convinced it is absolute truth while others believe people can change or learn from a mistake, that we evolve as we grow older and grow up. Which group do I fall in? A bit of both actually.

There are as many “reasons” people cheat as there are cheaters, and cheating once does not mean you will become a chronic cheater.

I have one friend, more of an acquaintance these days actually, who has cheated on every boyfriend she’s ever had except for one. He was the one man she truly loved when she was younger and he cheated on her. He broke her heart. She cheated on the next man she dated and every man after that. She fell into a life of cheating so that she wouldn’t end up being the one cheated on again. That’s the gist of it I’m to believe. She told me once that it was difficult the first time but the more she did it the easier it became. Now it doesn’t even click with her that she is doing something wrong, it is just who she is.

There is also the case of an extended family member of mine who cheated on his wife with a woman for nearly two years. Initially a drunken one night stand, the woman basically blackmailed him into continuing the affair by threatening to tell his wife if he didn’t. This is the story he told. I don’t tend to believe it, for several reasons. A one night mistake can be forgiven but an ongoing two year “relationship” is much harder to forgive. Also, the truth will always come out eventually. Always. Especially when one is living in a town of less than 7,000 people. Regardless, it happened and his wife found out (the woman told her anyway) and rather than leave him she decided to retire to be with him all the time so that it wouldn’t happen again. What do you think the chances of them living happily ever after are?

Then there is seven year man who thinks it’s his right to have sex with whomever he wants regardless of whether he’s married or in a relationship or not. He was married for ten years before he met me. He cheated on his wife with me (which, for the record, I never knew until we were moving in together). He also cheated on her many other times before me, enough that they attended marriage counseling on several different occasions. Needless to say, he also cheated on me and the woman he married after me.

One of the things I learned from most of the cheaters I’ve known is that sex isn’t usually the real issue. Yes, it can be that they just want to fuck every man or woman in sight, but most often it is used as an excuse to cover some other problem, or conceived problem, that they do not know how to handle. My female friend was badly hurt and does not want to be hurt again. Rather than confronting that issue and overcoming it she cheats so that he will leave her before she falls deeply for him and he has a chance to hurt her. Another male friend cheated on his wife because he was lacking support and an emotional connection from her. Rather working on his marriage he found what he was missing with someone else.

I recall an incident with co-workers many years back. They were both married to other people and although they never physically cheated he emotionally cheated. She thought that they were just being good friends but then he started sharing all the things with her that he should have been sharing with his wife. He didn’t even realize it was an issue himself until his wife threatened to leave if he didn’t stop seeing the girl at work. Eventually he left the company so that he could save his marriage and they would no longer have to work with each other.

Seven year man was different from most in the respect that he came from a long line of cheaters. His father cheated on his mother, his grandfather on his grandmother. He was also an egotistical narcissist who thought he was gods gift to women. Even though he seeked counseling in his first marriage he never truly believed he was doing anything wrong and therefore never learned anything from it. He did it to appease his wife. He was not really husband material, and definitely not worth the pain and tears that were shed over him. I remember him saying he was afraid of dying alone but in the end I believe that is exactly how he will be, alone.

I’ve been the woman cheated on and the one who did the cheating. Yes, I have cheated, but only once. After seven year man and I had moved in together he was constantly having to meet with his ex-wife to finalize the divorce and such. She was finding any excuse she could to see him and he didn’t see it. Or maybe he did and that egotistical narcissist part of him made him go anyway. Then he would be away at work weeks on end, returning home barely one weekend a month. I was young and naïve and fed up with being left at home alone and went out drinking one night with girlfriends. There was a young man who had a thing for me and we often flirted. This night I let him bring me home and invited him in. I knew it was wrong and I was basically acting out, one of those “I’ll show him” moments. I regretted it even before it was over and have never cheated since.

One mistake does not define you. What you do after, how you move on from it, does.

Over the years since seven year man I have done quite a bit of dating and had a few longer term relationships. Have I had sexual relations with men other than my partner? Yes. Have my partners had relations with women other than me? Yes. The difference now though is that it is an open and honest thing, rather than something that is lied about or hidden from the other partner.

It isn’t about just going out and screwing around with someone, it’s about being honest with each other, working through any issues we may have, and taking an opportunity to meet a need or desire with our partners permission and understanding. It is about wanting our partners to have an exciting and fulfilling experience even when we can’t be the one to give it to them. We can play with other people as long as we agree to it before hand and share our experiences with each other. If we were to do it and then ask if it were ok, that would be cheating. If we were to do it without the other persons knowledge or permission, that would be cheating.

MySir lives 600 miles away. We have to be able to communicate openly and honestly and we need to trust each other in order for a relationship to work with that distance between us. We have to be together in our thoughts and actions regarding our relationship with each other. I tell him about every opportunity that comes up even when it is something I may not be interested in. I don’t do it to say hey, people want to be with me, I do it so that he is never in the dark about anything going on in my life. I also tell him because he may see something in the opportunity that he would like me to experience.

It works for us and I believe it could work for many others if they weren’t so close minded and insecure.

What do you believe? Once a cheater, always a cheater?

Click below to see what others are talking about this week.

Wicked Wednesday

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I was going to post a follow-up piece to Catching The Signal, but that will have to wait another week.

You do not need to watch this video to understand what I am going to write. You don’t need to watch it to know that people are gullible and blindly follow others without questioning reasons or motivation. ‘You say it’s a fight we should be having? Ok, I’ll fight this injustice with you.’ It’s pure propaganda and you may be more pissed off with the people who made it than the ones they are trying to get you mad at. I am posting it, you can decide whether you watch it or not.

Think a Little Porn Is Harmless? This Is Guaranteed to Change Your Mind. Warning: You Can’t Unwatch This
At the root of the porn industry and the exploitation of women is a desire driven by men. What if instead of being part of the problem, men became part of the solution? *Caution: This video contains graphic elements.

http://www.faithit.com/the-way-this-video-connects-porn-and-global-injustice-will-make-you-see-the-world-in-a-very-different-way-warning-you-cant-unwatch-this/#.UtHHm_sL7nc.facebook

I saw this video on Facebook the other day. A friend had posted it so I thought I would watch and see what it was about. My first clue should have been that it is from the FaithIt website, but then I’ve seen a lot of cute little things on there so I thought I’d see what it was all about. The more I watched the madder I got. I’m paraphrasing here, but what they say is that basically men need to learn to control their urges and become men of God because their desire to watch porn leads to the complete exploitation of women and ultimately sex trafficking.

There are more than a few reasons I have issue with this video.

First off, it isn’t only men who have sexual urges and desires. It isn’t only men who watch porn. I would think in this day and age there are more women watching porn than ever before. It’s so easy to access online, to order online, or even to purchase at your local adult store. Women are more confident in their own sexuality and asking for what they want rather than sitting back and feeling ashamed for it.

Just because someone likes to watch porn or have kinky sex does not mean that they will end up purchasing prostitutes and contributing to sex trafficking. One is not synonymous with the other, and one does not ultimately lead to the other. Watching porn does not always translate into other things, into more dangerous or degrading or illegal activities. I know there are people with no self control, but there are as many who can control themselves and have no desire to do more than watch a little porn occasionally. Not everyone eats the whole bag of potato chips, and not everyone watches porn 24/7 or feels the need to go beyond the porn.

I understand that yes, there are some women who get into the porn business because they are forced to or because they are down from other issues and find it an easy way to score some cash. There are more who do it of their own free will, simply because they want to. I would do it in a heartbeat if I had the body for it. Well, the body for hot sexy porn not chubby chaser porn. I don’t know how I’d do with the faking orgasm part though. I’ve never been good at faking anything.

Those porn producers of old, the ones who force the drug ridden or otherwise needy women to have sex on film, are not the types of porn producers of today. They do still exist throughout the world, and you can always find whatever it is you are looking for, but the business as a whole has cleaned up and become much more mainstream and accessible. These days there are many more reputable producers and at home amateurs. One look through FetLife and you’ll see a plethora of women freely and openly enjoying themselves making their own videos. I don’t believe they can act well enough to make us believe they are enjoying it, I believe they really are enjoying it.

Sex trafficking is about money and greed and control. It has much more to do with power than it does sex. I know someone who was once part of that world who says herself that it isn’t about sex. She says she was degraded and belittled and made to feel completely worthless, told she was nothing and would get nowhere in life. It was about making them, her and the other women, lose their confidence and sense of self worth and general ambition in life so that they became nothing more than simple objects. Without feeling and desire and a sense of self worth they could easily be controlled and used to make money. A simple object to make its owner money.

Ok, so that may be part of the point of the video. For the record, I am against sex trafficking and using or degrading women who do not wish to be used or degraded. The point is though, that one thing does not lead to the other.

Oh, and as for God, you don’t need to believe in God to help people. You also aren’t some forsaken degenerate if you don’t believe. I could go on about my thoughts on religion and faith, but I will leave that for another day, or not. What I will say that it isn’t God you need to find to be happy and whole and not do things that lead you down the road to supporting sex trafficking. What you need to do is find yourself.



Click the link below to see what other stories were born of this weeks Wicked Wednesday challenge.

Wicked Wednesday

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Trained Myself Well

This week’s prompt for Wicked Wednesday is training. It was meant to relate to sex but there is more I’d like to say on the topic.

There are many kinds of training we go through during our lives, right from the day we are born. Our parents train us to eat and sleep at certain times, to get up and walk, to talk and use our manners. They teach us, at least they should teach us, to have a sense of self worth that is not based on what others think of us or what possessions we may have. This is one lesson most of us find hard to learn and no matter how many people try to tell us these things don’t matter we can only train ourselves to get past it, to not let those things influence us. It isn’t something someone else can train you to do, it is something we have to figure out on our own. Yes, it does help to have some great role models and older women in our lives who exude that confidence so that we may see it and learn from them.

Aside from constantly having media bombard us with images of what beauty is supposed to be (and not all the “beauty is on the inside” stuff that we know really matters), they also tell us that without the perfect body and flawless skin nobody will want us. If nothing else, I know this isn’t true. I’ve never had any issue meeting men, potential sex or relationship partners, and aside from a select few I’ve always been the one to end things, not them. I touched on this topic in the Body Issue post I wrote when I first started blogging. Even now, a year and a half and more than 250 posts later, it is the most requested piece I’ve written. People want to hear that there isn’t something wrong with them. They want to know that they can have a fulfilling life, including sex, no matter what size and shape they may be.

There was an article I came across on Facebook a couple of days ago, I’m Fat, 40 and Single—And I’ve Been Getting Laid Like Crazy, that made me think of my earlier post again. It also made me think about the real life things I post here now, the pictures and pieces about my submission and sex life in general. The personal things I never thought I would share when I first started blogging. I could have written that article. I’m fat, I’m 41, having a non-monogamous relationship with my Sir, and I’ve been getting a lot of darn good sex in the past few years. I’ve not had an abundance of different sexual partners though, less than ten in the past three years. I did the big casual sex thing twenty years ago. In fact, I had more sexual partners during my first five years of having sex than I have in the past twenty years.

Ok, back on track…

One of the things I found interesting about the I’m Fat, 40 and Single—And I’ve Been Getting Laid Like Crazy article is that she was surprised by the great sex life she is having. She was surprised by the number of men who genuinely found her attractive, even though she described herself as “reasonably pretty, in a natural, low-maintenance, naughty librarian kind of way… fiercely intelligent, deeply hilarious, casually stylish, utterly unselfconscious and really, genuinely nice.” I am not surprised in the least that she has been having this great sexual adventure. Even though she believes these things of herself, she doubted others would see past the not so perfect, not up to media standards, woman she is. She let others influence how she thought she would be seen.

I don’t much care what others think usually.  I’m a big girl, I have the caesarian pooch, a scar down the middle of my chest and another on my breast. I have plenty of cellulite and tree-trunk legs. I am soft and have a substantial sized arse. I know these things, am keenly aware of them at times, yet completely oblivious at others. That doesn’t mean that I let them define me, that I let the media and ignorant comments from strangers get to me. I used to. I used to be so very self conscious of all my flaws, especially that big heart surgery scar I’ve been carrying around with me for more than thirty-five years. Now I flaunt them. I flaunt the fact that I am still alive after all I’ve been through and celebrate the life I do have. It took a long time to be able to that. It took a lot of hard work, a lot of effort and practice, to have a sense of self worth based on, well, myself. I think I’ve trained myself well.

Wicked Wednesday

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