Posts Tagged ‘text messaging’

Check out this post if you would like to have a little background context to this one.

He was quiet the next two days before trying to initiate another conversation. I didn’t respond.

The third day he apologized again.


I have not responded. That didn’t stop him from sending me a message on FetLife to tell me he received some new toys he had ordered and wanted to use them on me.


I’ve only met this guy twice. The first was at a munch and the second at a coffee shop for a drink. Both times he barely said a word which left the conversations more than lacking. I don’t even know why I agreed to meet him after the munch in the first place. It wasn’t because I was interested in dating him. I was skeptical about him from the start, which I told him several times. I need to learn to listen to that skeptical voice and quit giving the wrong people chances they don’t deserve.

I should have known he was off his rocker when I didn’t respond fast enough to a message on FetLife one day and he got perturbed. I said, “You do realize I’m working right now?” His response was, “I don’t realize but I can take an educated guess you are working. After you tell me you are working then it is a realization.” Childish response or what? I don’t know when people expect me to be working my 9-5 office job if not between the hours of 9 and 5. Seriously!

There have been a few times when he has gone off on me because I was too busy to respond to him or meet him. He’s said it’s “logically bullshit” that I am too busy. I got a “you listen to me” as well. Excuse me, what now?

What started the exchange above was him asking me if I was currently sexually involved with someone. I said yes, I have a friend. Well, that lead to him saying how terrible I was, how all those times I was busy I was actually going out with my “fuck buddy or laying on (my) back,” and how do I think someone who wants to date me is going to stick around to get dicked around while I do that. Then he started in on how I’m playing him and he won’t allow himself to be punked or insulted like that. He even tried to tell me what a “lying POS” I am because he’s come to some conclusion that I had a fuck buddy when I was seeing MySir. He doesn’t know any of the details about that relationship and had he asked he would have found out.

I’m not going to defend myself here because anyone who reads my blog or follows me on Twitter will already know the truth, enough of it at least to know that the person he was describing isn’t me. Besides that, he had stated about ten minutes into my first meeting him that he reads my blog and thought it was great. Don’t tell me you do something if you don’t, and don’t pretend to know me when clearly you don’t know anything about me or what I’ve been through these past couple of years.

There’s a bunch more but it all seems so stupid and childish. He pretty much screams immature, unbalanced abuser to me. Verbally attacking me, trying to manipulate me, then minimalizing it all by offering to bring me flowers. An apology and “are we cool?” is going to make it all better and I’m just supposed to forgive and forget? I don’t think so. It’s like the woman who gets hit because her husband had a bad day at the office then he buys her flowers and expects her to forget all about the bruise on her cheek. Not this girl. That is abuse, classic abuse, and I won’t accept it.

I may be in my 40’s and currently single, but I would much rather be alone than with a pathetic, delusional little man who thinks verbally attacking a woman, putting her down and blaming her, is the way to get her. There are plenty of real men, kind and considerate men, out there. One will come my way. And if one doesn’t I still have the best man in the world, my son.

BTW, my favorite color is red.


Note: This person has been deleted and blocked on my social media sites. Anyone know if I can block his calls and texts on my cell phone?



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Then he said something about how I should have been more cautious, how my life would have turned out very differently if I hadn’t allowed myself to get pregnant by “THAT” kind of guy, and that he doesn’t date or even talk to women with “fuck buddies”. Now, I had told him the whole story about my son’s father on a previous occasion so he already knew how long we had been together and known each other. It isn’t something I like to discuss with people and I don’t do it often, but I was trying to be completely open from the beginning and give this guy a chance. You see how well that worked.


He continued with a spiel about how I have a fuck buddy (which is not what I said), and how I am a “lying POS” because he can’t follow the concept of an open relationship and having a partner who enjoys seeing and hearing about you being with someone else. Nor can he understand that changing a relationship status on social media does not mean it just happened that very second. To be fair, he would not have seen when I deleted my owned status back at the beginning of the summer only when I changed it to unowned more recently. Although, he did ask me out several times before I added the unowned part.

He says he follows my blog and has read a lot of the comments I’ve made on FetLife. Apparently not enough to know anything about me. I suspect he saw that I wrote this blog, along with the pics that I’ve posted, and wanted to be a part of it. He has only called me by my real name two times that I can see. I even responded with his FetLife name once so he could see how stupid it was. He didn’t catch the hint. The one time I met him for a drink he gave himself the moniker Mr Ten. He said ten because he wanted people to think about why it was Mr Ten rather than Mr X.

Well, here you go Mr X, welcome to the blog!

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“We have her phone # and we will publish it all over the internet if this defamatory text is not purged and taken down.”

How is me posting a text that was meant for you, but not actually written by you or stating anything about you, or even the person who sent it for that matter, defamatory exactly? If I don’t know anything about you, other than the fact your friend may have taken an underage young women out for Valentines Day, how would any of my readers? There was no information provided that would give anyone away. There was a company name mentioned in the initial misdirected text I received, but I did not include it in the blog post. I removed it specifically so that I wasn’t giving out any personal or confidential information. This is the only information that I could possibly see as being of any issue.

I do know more about you now from you writing the comments you did though. You can learn a lot from a person’s IP address and the way they respond to perceived threats, perceived questioning of character, or rather perceived threats or questioning of a friends character. Oh, did you want your comment posted on my blog? I assume you did since that is how you chose to contact me, rather than through email, or text or telephone call. You do have my number right? Maybe your friend does, the one who actually texted me. Did he give it to you? I could send it to you if you don’t have it. Wait a minute, maybe I can’t send it to you. How would I? The two email addresses you used are fakes after all. How would I reach you?

I wonder, after receiving your comments and looking into my blog stats, how it is you came across the post anyway? You read adult sexually oriented blogs do you? Or maybe your friend who wrote the text does? The fashionista hottie perhaps? You would be the only two people, possibly three if your friends Valentine’s Day friend knows he refers to her as a fashionista hottie, who would know where the text came from. You have to know, I love saying that, fashionista hottie. Maybe I’ll trademark it, start a whole other blog. There’s a thought.

Back to this defamatory business. Something isn’t defamatory if it is true. I copied the text exchange word for word. Why do you have a problem with it being posted here? Is it because it’s on the blog that it is? Do you take issue with it for some other reason? Is it because I wrote my imaginings of the person behind the text? Still not defamatory. But, if there is something I am missing I would gladly like to hear it. Something else you should know, my decision not to remove the text from the post or remove the post all together may have been different if you had approached me in a nicer manner. Anyone who knows me knows I don’t back down from much but I do consider requests that are thought out and kindly worded.

Kink Regards,



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UPDATE: Apparently the person who was supposed to have received the text I included has issues with the addition I made to the end, even though I stated only the beginning was real and didn’t have the end in quotes, and even though no actual personal information was given. Now you will find his comments included (as I’m sure he wanted as he would have just emailed or called otherwise) along with the rest below and that particular imagined end has been crossed out.


Texting can be one of the most confusing things. I mean really, there are no expressions to see, no inflection or tone to the words. We read what is written to us based on our mood at the moment rather than how the writer often intends them.

Then there are the times when we are texting back and forth so many things we comment on something that was a few messages ago and it comes across as referring to what was just received. The other person is left wondering what you are talking about. It happens to all of us at times.

Sometimes the confusion comes from someone we don’t even know, a wrong number. With a telephone call we often don’t even realize it’s a wrong number until they ask for that husband we don’t have or how the new puppy is fairing. We can go on and on with small talk for quite a while before realizing we aren’t talking to who we think we are. With a text it happens much sooner, especially when they refer to us as “Dude”! Sometimes these miscommunications are funny and intriguing. Sometimes they lead to longer conversations.

“Dude, who’re the lawyers on the surreptitious XXXX divestiture? 😉 Can you suggest a restaurant that won’t card a fashionista hottie on Valentine’s Day? :p LOL”



“Who is this?”


“Didn’t understand the question?”

“Sorry, I think I got the wrong number. My Bad.”

“No worries. Was kind of intrigued by the surreptitious divestiture and the fashionista hottie. ;)”

LOL, I can’t let you in on all my secrets.

You can’t keep a fashionista hottie a secret for long.

Very true. Any suggestions? For Valentine’s Day?

What area are you in?

Mississauga. Lakeshore.

I used to live on Clarkson.

Beauty. Why did you leave?

Family stuff.

They sure can get us sometimes. I’m never leaving.

You’ve always lived there then?

Absolutely! My parents are never getting rid of me.

Haha… Just what I assumed.


Note: The beginning of this exchange was a real text message from early February. I kept it because it made me laugh. I took out the company name because that was definitely secret information that doesn’t need to be shared.

It’s Wicked Wednesday time again! Click below to see who else is being wicked this Wednesday.

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