Ghost Writers In The Storm

If you are a regular reader of my blog you know that I have been struggling as of late. There are a few reasons for this, family stuff, work issues, but the main being my heartbreak at losing Him. (No worries, he hasn’t died. He is just off on a path of his own, one he must walk alone.) I was truly surprised at how He affected me in such a relatively short period of knowing him. He was a first in many respects, and I don’t think we ever completely get over our firsts. They leave an impression that can’t be forgotten.

You may have noticed my neglect at posting new fiction pieces. Because of everything that has been going on I have not been feeling particularly inspired to write. It isn’t that I don’t want to write, I do have ideas and have started several pieces, I just can’t get them to come out the way I want. I muddle them up somewhere between conception and when my pencil touches paper. Yes, I do still actually write a lot of things on paper before starting up the computer and posting online. Except for this post, which I am doing on my phone.

I started the Becoming series (which you can catch up with here) earlier this year. My plan was, and still is, to continue this series with a dozen or so stories about this couple and their journey. I have posted three pieces so far and have several more drafts started. I keep projecting my own sorrows and issues onto the characters, which will work for some things but not for others . This is where I need your help.

I would like you to help get me back on track, to be my inspiration, my muse of sorts, ghost writers. Please answer some, or all if so inclined, of the questions I pose below. You can leave your answers as a comment, write your own blog post and leave the link, or email me privately at stellakiink@live.com. Then I will incorporate some of your answers into the series.

Let’s see how this thing goes!

1. How old were you when you began your journey into BDSM or your first D/s relationship? What lead you there?

2. What was your biggest misconception?

3. What surprised you the most? Was it something you liked, or didn’t like, maybe a response?

4. What was your biggest mistake?

5. What do you want to learn more about? A fetish, fantasy, dynamic, or something else?

6. If you have “guest stars”, where or how do you find them? What are your rules for sharing or inviting someone to join?

7. Do you enjoy rope play? What is it that excites you, as the rigger or the one being bound? (Yes, there are two rope pieces in the draft folder.)

8. What advice would you give to a newbie?

9. What scenarios would you like me to explore with this couple?

10. And because I like even numbers, here’s another… Do you have any special ways of helping with writers block?

I thank you all in advance and look forward to your help. With this, I promise to post a new story this week.

My Mighty Orgasms

Oh the mighty orgasm. Considered the holy grail for some, and meer child’s play for others.

I was a late bloomer when it came to orgasm. At least I think I was. I’ve never really heard or read anything about when women first experience orgasm. I would be curious to know when my female readers first experienced orgasm. Maybe there is a project to be built there. Maybe somebody already has.

I started having sex in my mid teens, sixteen actually, but did not experience my first orgasm until nearly five years later. That does not mean all that time in between wasn’t fun and fulfilling, it was, for the most part, it just didn’t include an orgasm. Not even one of my own making. And I played with myself plenty. That started long before I first had sex with a boy. I remember being caught by my brother when I was only ten or so. He was peeking under my bedroom door after I had finished my bath and was laying on the floor pushing my finger into my soft little opening. I knew enough to put my finger inside, and I enjoyed the feeling of it, but had no idea about my clit.

My very first orgasm came when I was twenty years old and dating a bisexual man named Randy. The cause, the catalyst, of my orgasm is still the biggest shocker for me when it comes to my sex life. My first orgasm came from anal sex. I didn’t even know that was possible! For men sure, but women? Did you know? It took a long time to recover from that experience, not physically so much as mentally. It shook me to my core.

I am apparently unique when it comes to orgasms or so, among other things, I’ve been told. I seem to be one of those very lucky women who can orgasm in different ways, by different means. How do I orgasm? Let me count the ways….

1) anal penetration, with me on my back or side

2) sexual intercourse, full on hard fucking, just about any position as long as it is a forceful pounding

3) clitoral stimulation, with or without penetration

4) g-spot stimulation, leads to a squirting orgasm every.. fucking.. time

5) nipple play/torture, the harder the better, no stimulation of clit or cunt required

6) slapping my cunt

7) slapping my ass

8) growl at me, deep and low, tell me to cum, command me (this is a fickle one which has so far only come from Him)

9) the super-duper magic metal toy, the quickest way to orgasm, also a massive squirt inducer

10) sucking his cock, when I am into it my cunt will drip like a leaky faucet then one touch and I’m done

In addition to these different ways of bringing me to orgasm, I also have different kinds of orgasms. My reactions differ due to many things, but mainly I think it just depends on the day and the partner. Sometimes I am quiet and just buck my body a little, bite my lip and let out the faintest of moans. Sometimes I scream, oh fuck, fuck, fuck! Sometimes there will be one big orgasm while other times there seems to be a never ending supply of them. Sometimes there is a little thick and clear liquid. Sometimes I look like a man ejaculated on my cunt there is so much creamy excretion. Sometimes the flood gates open and I squirt clear across the room.

We are all different and unique in the way we reach that peak of orgasm. Even each of us individually can have a multitude of different reactions. I personally follow the beat of my own drummer. I am not always in the same mood, same company, same general frame of mind every day. I wear different clothing, style my hair differently, listen to different music, all depending on the day and the mood. Why then, when everything else can change and be different, should I expect anything less from my body and my orgasms?



Want to see how others are being wicked this Wednesday? Sure you do! Click the link below and see what other wickedness you may discover.

TMIT – Navigating Sex

Navigating Sex

1. Answer Yes or No:
I Regret My First Kiss    NO. He was a nice guy and those were fun days
I Miss My First Love    NO. I see him most weeks as his sister cares for my son. I have not been ”in love” with him for the better part of 20 years.
I Married My First Love    NO. I’ve actually never been married.
I Loved Someone That Didn’t Love Me    YES. I loved him, still do, but I am not in love with him. I believe it’s impossible to be in love with someone who isn’t also in love with you.

2. Do you consider yourself monogamous or polyamorous or some other category which you will explain or define for us now?
I would say I am monogamous more so than polyamorous. I don’t cheat on my partners and I don’t often have more than one. There have been times when I have had relationships with several men at one time, and am certain I will again in the future, but that hasn’t been my normal way. When having multiple relationships there is still always a main one and that relationship will always override the others. Each partner is also always aware of the other, or others, before moving forward. I don’t consider swinging or threesomes, or even surrogates as more than an add-on to a relationship.

3. Your partner is in the mood for sex and you are tired – what do you do?
a. Start snoring. There is no way I’m giving it up tonight.
b. Trade. You give me a massage… and we will see…
c. That would never happen!
Yeah, that would never happen. I am nearly always in the mood and even if I wasn’t I would get there soon enough.

4. Does your partner mind if you masturbate, in bed, when they are there?
I don’t have a partner currently, but my last few partners did not mind at all. If anything, they would push me to do it. Voyeurs. Got to love the voyeurs.

5. Describe your typical sexual romp:
a. You are playful and tame
b. You have occasionally introduced a few things like outfits and toys
c. You love trying new things and shocking your partner
I am very playful, enjoy toys, and love trying new things. I guess that makes me a bit of all three. Typically it would be playful and adventurous.

Bonus: What was your best ever masturbation experience. Why was it the best? Describe.
How about I just show you…

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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

No Means No?



No means no. Right? Of course it does,. Except when it doesn’t.

We teach our children that “no means no” all the time. If someone hurts you, tell them no. If someone tries to touch you in an inappropriate manner, tell them no. If you are doing something to someone else and they say no, you stop. If you are heating things up with a guy then suddenly decide you want to stop, you say no. Then you need to stop, they need to stop, because no means no. Period.

This is the way things are supposed to work. This is how we protect ourselves.

That is all fine and well for many people but I have learned that as an adult, a consenting adult, no isn’t always the definitive end. When it comes to BDSM no can have a very different meaning. There is a reason no is not, and should never be, your safe word. It is that safe word that becomes your ’no’ and the definitive end.

We push boundaries and limits. We try to get our partners to let go of old programming, of old fears. Or, we could be the one being pushed to let go. No is always a first reaction when confronted by fear or pain, even if they are meant to help us in the end. We say no because that is what we have been taught to do to protect ourselves from the unpleasantries, to make them stop as soon as possible. The thing about the unpleasantries though is that it is often us, our own selves, that make them so. It is our fears that make us put our foot down and say no. It is our fears that are keeping us from crossing that threshold.

Sometimes it is our past experiences that have caused us to fear certain things. This is natural. There are other things we fear because we have been programmed to fear them not because we have a real reason to. The problem is that we often can’t tell the difference. Because it is something we have held onto for so long, we no longer know how we got it and the reality is, it no longer matters.

I have a fear of speaking or performing in public. It’s crazy and at times rather debilitating. I always thought it was an irrational fear of tripping over my own two feet, falling flat on my face and being laughed at or ridiculed because of it. It took a lot of work and a hell of a lot of years to realize that the fear came from an experience I had at about 7 or 8 years old. I am still working on getting past this fear but at least now I know it isn’t as completely irrational as I had thought. I believe that if I had the right partner, the right Sir, in my life early on (instead of the damn Dreaded Whistler) I could have overcome this fear a long time ago with his help. He wouldn’t have stopped at no, he would have continued to push me further. He would have put me on display and forced me to confront it. He would have empowered me to let it go and get past it.

Our fears may not always be of something bad happening though. It could also be a fear of something good, something better happening. It could be a fear of how things will change, how our life may be forever altered, if we cross the line we set for ourselves and find we like it there on the other side. What happens if we find pleasure in the pain? What happens if we enjoy that play party? Will we still be satisfied with our partner, will we want to wander without them? It is easier to just say no and stay in our safe little world than to deal with what might be.

There are no right or wrong answers to these questions. They are just paths that may or may not be followed. Everything depends on the relationship you have with your partner now, before you cross those lines. Do you trust each other implicitly? Yes? No? This is the real question you need the answer to. This is the one that should never be answered with a no.



Click below to see others wicked thoughts this Wednesday.

TMIT – Masturbation Month

Masturbation Month 2013

1. My favorite place to masturbate is ______?
In bed. It’s comfy, everything is close at hand, and I can roll over and go to sleep when I’m done. I most often masturbate before turning in for the night so it’s convenient.

2. Have you ever masturbated in public? What were the circumstances?
I have masturbated in a car in a parking lot, quite a few times actually. Sometimes while a ball game was going on in front of me. That is as close as I’ve gotten to masturbating in public.

3. Do you like mutual masturbation? Why?
It depends on the day and the partner. I much prefer us getting each other off rather than ourselves. If it is a new partner, mutual masturbation is a good way to get to know what they like, to see how they pleasure themselves.

4. When was the last time you masturbated?
This morning. I was up early and with the child away I didn’t have a lot to do before heading off to work. It was nice to be able to take my time starting the day.

5. Have you ever masturbated on camera?
Yes, still and moving. I wasn’t really comfortable it at first but have warmed up to it.

6. Do you like to watch people masturbate?
Yes, absolutely! As I said above, it is the best way to learn what somebody likes. The way they touch themselves or play with a toy, you can learn much more about what they like by watching them.

Bonus: Have you filmed yourself masturbating? Care to share that film via a link?
 I have filmed myself a few times. Years ago for a guy I was with, and more recently filmed myself masturbating then squirting. That one was pretty neat, although I would have liked to have someone else filming me to get the whole scope of it.  Those are the only one’s I have shared and I have no plan of ever sharing them on line.

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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

WTF, Grow Up!

So I had been talking to this guy for a bit. We met a while back and had a lot of fun but had not connected physically since. It wasn’t great, but it was good and good can lead to great so I was willing to give it a shot and see where things went. He seemed interested in the same. Seemed.

At first he was like, when can I see you again? I don’t think I can wait a whole week. Can I on the weekend?

Good start.

Then the weekend came and he had other plans he hadn’t realized. Then on the day before he was supposed to come see me he said he wasn’t sure if he’d be able to because he had to work on a group assignment and that was the evening the group was getting together. No word from him the next day, just a no-show. Then the following week he was all, I’m sorry but I can’t come up as I’m busy studying for exams. They’re killing me.

I understand people get busy and life gets in the way of new things at times. I’m a single parent. My “life” gets in the way a lot.

He was still constantly texting and calling telling me how much he missed me and wanted to see me again. Then came another missed day of when he said he wanted to get together.

I pretty much gave up on him at this point. He messaged me while I was at the cottage and I asked him why he was saying the things he was. Then he called, confirming he wanted to see me but was just busy with finishing school exams and getting ready to move. I wasn’t convinced but ok, benefit of the doubt.

Another week or so and I decide to send him a message and see if he wanted to get together. His response was, “I am with someone now”. Awesome! Deleted him from my phone and gave up on that nonsense.

Then last night I got a message that he was thinking of me, he missed me. I asked him why and he said because he loved being with me.

“Too bad you’d rather miss me than have me,” and then asked him why he messages me like that. No response on that.

Today he continued…

“Did you love my mouth?”

“Did you like my cock?”

“You’re a good girl, such a tasty pussy.”

This wasn’t the first time he asked these questions. I’ve never been with someone who needed such positive reinforcement before. It really is a turn off for me. I told him I was free this weekend if he wanted to come see me for another taste. Figured I would play along for the moment and see where he ended this time. I had no doubt he’d come up with something. (I know, I know. I was playing right along with him. Fuck! It’s so easy to get drawn in sometimes.)

“I can’t. My car is screwy, plus I am kinda seeing someone.”

WTF is up with that? I hate when people play these games. He’s a thirty-something year old man who should be done playing these stupid games. He really pissed me off, and I told him so.

“Don’t tell me how good I taste if you don’t want to taste me. Don’t tell me you miss my ass if you don’t want it. And don’t tell me you’re stroking your cock for me when you clearly aren’t. Grow the fuck up!”

What the fuck is wrong with people? Seriously!!

Double Jeopardy

I’ve been on a bit of a clamping, or pinning, kick as of late. Not sure why I feel the need to be punished, but somehow I must or I wouldn’t keep doing this to myself.

This week I found a way to intensify the pain sensation without having to go purchase more clamps.

I doubled them up.




I think I may be in trouble here. Double jeopardy’s a bitch!




I’m sure you’ve all seen, or at least heard of, Double Jeopardy with Ashley Judd and Tommy Lee Jones. If you haven’t, you can find out more here.




Click below to see how others are being sinful this Sunday.