Photographs and A Nipple

I tend to take a lot of photos. Of everything. Yes, everything. There are currently 1,234 on my phone. All taken by me, save one, and most taken in the last month or so. I do download them to my laptop regularly and delete the vast majority from my phone but it does seem to be a never ending cycle. I say majority because there are a few I’ve kept on there that are more than two years old. The photoI used in the post A Matter of Time is the oldest one on my phone and I’d say it is closer to three years old.

Why do I take so many photographs? I don’t know. Many reasons I guess. I like capturing special or funny moments so I can go back and look at them again and again. I like telling a story with pictures. The evolution of my child from a pea in my belly to the fabulous four year old he currently is, and hopefully on to adulthood and parenthood, is one of those stories. One photo I’ve kept is of him at my cousin’s last Christmas with a tiara on and the biggest smile ever. That one will be included on the picture roll at his wedding, should he get married. He’s actually taken one photo that is still on my phone. His first mirror selfie. Oh my!

I also take pictures of things I want to remember, crafty ideas and such, or pictures that inspire a story of fiction. There are pictures I took at the dollar store of pervertables. There are pictures of various jewelry finds and designs to help inspire me for my project with Artist Wife. There is a picture of a bottle of homeopathic asthma remedy my naturopath prescribed that I am currently out of and need to replace. There are pictures of storage units I saw last week at Ikea that would be great in my entryway. There is also a picture I found on Twitter that is the inspiration behind a story I hope to write in time for the A Darker Flame meme this month.

Since beginning this blog more and more of the photos I take are of me and my naked bits. I have found that I am much more an exhibitionist than I ever thought. I also find that these photos show there is more to me that the scars I was used to always seeing when I looked at my body. Some are basic nudity, although very few. The majority, I think, are creative and artistic. Many of these I use for my Sinful Sunday posts. Not bad for an 8 megapixel autofocus with a f/2.4 aperture and LED flash (I have no idea what any of that means!).

You don’t need a big camera and a lot of expensive camera equipment to take a good photograph. This you can trust me on. All of the photos I’ve taken and posted on this blog were taken on a cell phone.

Now, since this is Wicked Wednesday, I couldn’t write a post about photographs and not include a wicked one for you. ;)

clamp marks

my nipple, sporting some lovely clamp marks


Puppy Training

“Whether your dog fancies herself dominant or submissive, her role in the pack may have something to do with it. So-called active submission or appeasement includes behaviors like jumping, attention-seeking, nuzzling and performing a play bow. If these behaviors accompany the bone drop, your dog is reminding you that she knows you’re the alpha.”
~ Training, The Daily Puppy





e[lust] #61

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Photo courtesy of Maria opens up

Welcome to Elust #61 -

The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #62? Start with the rules, come back September1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

Bloggers, please
I Touch Myself
Stunt Porn / People Porn

~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

Is sex unsexy? A ‘His & Hers’ post
Van Gogh, an erotic author and a selfie…


~ Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

*You really should consider adding your popular posts here too*

His Desires

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7

days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!


Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

Anorgasmia in women
One Week On
Safe Craigslist Hookups
Online Dating: How to Talk to People
Stealth Sex Toys-Stash Management
Last Longer In Bed For Men Naturally

Erotic Non-Fiction

Spicing Up Sex Life
Gasp, Shake, Thank You
Again and Again
Fapping to My Photos and Stories
Did you miss me?
Desire….What happens when you can’t succumb?
Off Balance
On the Sofa
The Solace of My Body
Self Given
Orgasms & Ice Cream
Skid Marks

Sex News,Opinion, Interviews, Politics & Humor

Jacky au royaume des filles
What makes a sex writer?
Dubrovnik whore as metaphor 4 Balkan politics
Am I Pretty or Ugly?

Erotic Fiction

Lonely observations
Fucking and Being Fucked
The Churning Black, Part 4
A Return to Purpose
Bang on Target!
My Night With Lilith

Writing About Writing

Words That Shouldn’t Be In Erotica
Transhumanist Erotica: Jacked In


Just One Look

Thoughts and Advice on Kink and Fetish

The Hotness Of Cockteasing A Guy In Chastity
My eyes are over here
Submissive Men 101 Facts
Emotional Masochism
The time I made him make me safeword


Frame Game – A Lusty Limerick


Diana J Torres- Vagaculation Workshop

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You should always trust your body and it’s limitations. Easily said when you are living a vanilla life, but not so when you enter the world of kink and BDSM. It isn’t that easy because we are may be pushing a limit, some boundary that we want to move beyond or that our Dom wants to help us move beyond. We will engage in activities that cause pain or draw blood, or that generally scare the shit out of us and excite us to no end at the same time. We test ourselves, our Dom’s test us, we test them…. (Yes, we test you. It’s true. Any sub who says they do not or have not tested their Dom is lying.)

The thing is though, that our bodies can only go so far and we need to recognize that before we do great harm. When our endorphins are rushing through us and we start heading off into subspace we can miss or neglect the signs of going to far. This is when you need to trust your Dom to notice the signs for you. When you can’t trust your body, trust your Dom. If you can not trust your Dom then you need to find another.

When your Dom is whipping you and you start to fly you aren’t paying attention to your body heating up or the shakes that start or the fact that you are unable to respond in any comprehensible manner to the pain he is inflicting on your body. Even if we like it, it’s still pain and pain can mean damage. You aren’t paying attention to the signs your body is giving you, but he is. He is checking in with you throughout the scene and notices every little movement and nuance of your body. He knows how it reacts and when it reaches it’s limits.

This means that even though you didn’t use your safe word or get to the point of play that you thought you would, he is going to stop the scene. He should stop the scene. If you are in a public play space or play party and he doesn’t stop the scene a DM will. Keep in mind that just because someone has to step in to stop a scene does not mean that you have a bad Dom. It could be that while you are flying into subspace he is flying into Domspace and not fully aware of the situation. When he is checking in with you during your scene you should be checking on him as well. This way you will notice if he is starting to fly or if he is becoming agitated and you can stop the scene at that time.

I know I said trust your body and if you can’t trust your body trust your Dom, but the reality is we are all human and there may occasionally be times when things happen that we don’t expect or are out of our control. This absolutely must not be the norm. If this becomes the norm you need to find another Dom.

When you aren’t able to trust your body, here are some things your Dom is looking at:

  1. Your breathing – Is your breathing becoming shallow or erratic? Are you having a hard time catching your breath? Maybe you have asthma and an attack is coming.
  2. Your ability to communicate – If you needed to use your safe word, could you? If you can’t communicate verbally are you able to communicate another way?
  3. The sounds you make – Have you stopped making sounds you normally would make? Are you being more vocal than usual?
  4. Your body shaking or lack of movement - How does your body normally react to what he is doing? How is it reacting now?
  5. Your eyes – Are you able to focus on him or something in the room?
  6. Your sense of touch – Do you feel the whip as it makes contact? Are you numb? Is your skin overly sensitive?

These are just a handful of signs your Dom may be looking at. I am by no means an expert on the matter. There can be many more and different signs depending on the dynamics of the people involved and the kind of scene they are having.





I originally wrote this post when I first started this blog over two years ago. I had no audience then, nobody who knew me from Adam, but I felt it was important to share. I’ve gotten much more personal since then and hope I can continue to be honest about the things that are going on in my life and the way I react to them. We will all be touched by depression in our lives. The key is to not let it overtake you. It is tough, believe me, but you can do it. Don’t be afraid or ashamed. The greater fear should be of what will happen if you don’t do something about rather than if somebody knows. People should know. People should be aware. People need to know that they are not alone with the demons they fight. I don’t have all the answers but I can listen and comfort and let you know that I’ve been there too. I’ve gotten to the point where I wanted to jump out a bedroom window and end it all. I’ve been on the phone with a crisis worker talking me out of taking a leap of my 14th floor balcony. What kept me from doing that and ultimately helped me through it was realizing that I was not alone, that other people share similar struggles in their lives, and that dealing with things rather than running away from them would make me a stronger and happier person. I’ve not talked to my family about it but I have talked to friends, strangers, therapists, and the absolute best doctor in the whole world. When I opened my eyes to the world around me I found a never ending supply of people who weren’t just willing to listen but who wanted to genuinely help.


~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~


I have been thinking about depression the last few days. I know, taboo subject.

We all experience depression at some point in our lives. Some mildly so, but others require major medication and medical care. Maybe just for a few days here and there, maybe for a lifetime. I am one of the mildly so who falls somewhere in between, though much closer to the few days here and there. Don’t be shocked. Well, go ahead if you must. I’ve kind of shocked myself with that admission actually.

Many years ago while going through a hard time, my doctor put me on medication for my depression. Only a couple of my close friends knew. I never even told my family. The medication worked. Somewhat. It did enable me to make it through the days, to work and function enough to get things done. I wasn’t crying every 10 minutes, and that was what I had wanted. I didn’t notice much difference in any other regard. My friends noticed though. They said it was as if I was in a fog when on the medication, that I wasn’t my chipper self. Not my chipper self? Didn’t they realize I was depressed? How did they expect me to act? Thankfully I was only on the medication for a short time and have not been on any since.

When I became pregnant with my son I worried that I would become depressed after having him. Since I had had an issue previously, coupled with the postpartum a lot of women go trough, I was certain I was going to go down that hole. I recognised that I would need help and I got it right from the beginning. A wonderful lady came to visit me throughout my pregnancy and for a while after. She helped me realize how strong I was, the support system I had, and I was able to keep the depression at bay.

I have been thinking about it because I recently found myself falling into a hole I didn’t want to be in. Depression was seeping in. I didn’t want to face the world. I didn’t want to eat, or sleep, or clean, or get dressed, or anything really. Even spending time with my son wasn’t making me happy like it usually did. The difference though, between this recent phase and all those years ago, is that I was aware that it was happening. I could see it, feel it, and I knew how to stop it. I don’t know how to stop it for everyone, we are all unique individuals with unique life experiences and tendencies after all, but I knew how to stop it from happening to me, and now it’s retreated once again.

This is probably the most personal I will get here. Certainly more than I thought I would share about myself. The thing is though, that everybody gets depressed and nobody talks about it. This is the first time I have ever talked about it other than to a professional. Even my two friends who knew I was on that medication so long ago, we never actually talked about it. It has always remained unspoken. We need to talk about these things. Then maybe we wouldn’t feel so alone. We wouldn’t let it consume us. We would get help. We wouldn’t kill ourselves.

I Didn’t Tidy Up

So, it’s Saturday. The day my Jehovah Witness friend often comes to visit. Usually I do a tidy up but I slept in lounged too long in bed this morning and didn’t have time. After some Twitter banter and a couple orgasms I noticed the time and quickly got myself showered and dressed for her visit.

Upon arriving, she asked if she could use the washroom. No problem. I’d just had a shower and knew it was tidy. Oops, forgot to put away the bag from my Aren’t We Naughty visit last week. It had been in my bedroom and I had brought it out to put in the recycling bin.

Maybe she hadn’t noticed the bag, or the Fetish Fantasy box that was sticking out of it. Never mind the dildo package. That could have easily been mistaken for any generic product packaging. The Fetish Fantasy box and Aren’t We Naughty bag couldn’t. I moved the bag back into my bedroom while she was in the washroom.

When she came out she looked a little flustered and said she had forgotten something and had to leave right away. She practically ran out the door. I thought it was because of the bag but when I went in to use the facilities myself I noticed this little guy drying in the sink.

Ok, so it’s not really that little. It is fun though. :)

Do you think she’ll ever be back? I doubt it.


Too Long

9.5" dildo with suction base

9.5″ dildo with suction base

It’s been too long since I visited my local adult store Aren’t We Naughty. It was rather obvious to me during my short visit this afternoon when I didn’t know anyone working there. When did this happen? I used to know everyone. I’d walk in and we’d all great each other by name. I kinda felt like Norm on Cheers. Noooorm!

Today it wasn’t like that. Everyone was friendly and inviting, very helpful, but truth is I miss Pilar. She was my girl. Since she’s been gone (which has been well over a year, maybe closer to two) I’ve been there three times. Could be four, I’m not quite sure. What I am sure of is that my regular monthly visits came to an abrupt halt when she left. Why is that? You know how you just click with some people? That was what it was like with her. We just clicked. I trusted her to be honest with me. That’s important when you are spending money, sometimes hundreds of dollars at a time, on a product that you are unable to return. Especially when those products are for my personal pleasure.

This is also why I don’t do much online purchasing. Things never seem to be quite as extraordinary as they appear on websites. Most often I find things to be much smaller when I receive them at home. The statement, objects may appear larger than actual size, comes to mind. I know how big 6 inches is, or how big around a circumference of 1.5 inches is, but when I measure against that ruler in my hand I somehow get a picture of something bigger than what arrives in my mailbox. Then there is the power of the vibration or strength of grip that also seem to be overstated. When I go to a store and see an item in person I am always left much more satisfied by the products I bring home.

1 pussy pump

Pussy Pump

Did I ever tell you about my experience interviewing at Aren’t We Naughty’s head office? I made it to the second round of interviews for an accounting manager position about 8 years ago. It was one of the more unique interviewing experiences I’ve had. My interviews were held in the display room. Yep, a giant room with the walls covered in every product they carry. I’m sure they do that to get reactions out of people and weed out the ones who are offended by what they sell. I have to admit, I was a tad distracted by the displays. I kept noticing things I didn’t have or hadn’t seen or had wanted for some time but hadn’t yet purchased. No matter how comfortable you are with the subject matter, you can’t help but be distracted by a 12 inch blue dildo hanging directly in your line of sight behind the interviewers shoulder. It is still the one company I keep looking for openings at. They are very few, which is a good thing when looking at a company for employment. I don’t want to work for a company with a high turnover rate. Few openings means low turnover. Besides, I think it would be a much more fun place to work than where I do now. Something about the dish of condoms on the table in the waiting area, the large penis soap dispenser in the washroom, and the room full of sex toys.

1 bone gag

Doggie Bone Gag

So what products did I bring home with me today? The three you see in this post of course. Two I haven’t tried out yet, one I have. Two are to be used on me, the other by a male friend. One I never thought I would purchase in a million years, one I’ve wanted since the first time I saw the result of it being used, and the other just needed to join the rest of my toy army. Do you think you know which is which?



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connecting the dots by editing & writing erotica

Wicked Wednesday

Be wickedly sexy or sexily wicked

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