** StellaKiink has a new home **



That’s right, I’ve moved to a new self hosted site stellakiink.com. This blog will remain active for now but will be closed and redirected to the new site soon. Even though I’ve posted on various social media accounts I know not everyone will be aware of the move until they come here to check in.

As part of this move I will be transferring current subscribers to the new site, hopefully. I’m not very technically inclined so there’s a realistic chance it won’t work. If you currently follow me here I want to thank you for all your support and urge you to go over to the new site, stellakiink.com, bookmark it and subscribe there. I’ve already made a couple posts today and I wouldn’t want you to miss anything. 🙂

I look forward to having you all by my side on this new adventure.

Cheers,
Stella


P.S. This week’s Wicked Wednesday prompt is “Try something new.” It’s been a while since I’ve posted to Wicked Wednesday, but I felt it apt to post this notice as I started posting for Wicked Wednesday from the very beginning of my very first blog. It somehow feels right that my last post here will be to the Wicked Wednesday meme as well.

Read Full Post »

Trust What You Want

This week’s Wicked Wednesday prompt is “trust.” I’ve talked about here a few times previously. Most notable are Trust and When You Can’t Trust Your Body. Take a read if you haven’t already.

When we talk about trust we are most often referring to trust of another. What about trusting ourselves? What about trusting what we want? Truth be told that is what I have the biggest issue with, trusting myself. Oh, I trust that I can take care of my son and ensure he is happy and healthy. I also trust that I am knowledgeable enough to always have job opportunities available to me. What I don’t trust is verbalizing my wants and desires to my partners. Oh, I can do it here no problem. I can let all my bits hang out here. Telling my partners, in person, face to face with no barrier between us, with no ability to delete and rewrite, well that is something different entirely.

Recently, Mr S and I were having some fun and he said something that made me laugh. I didn’t laugh at him or because it was funny. I laughed at myself. I laughed more as a relief than anything else because he had asked me to do something that I enjoy doing, something that I know we would both enjoy, but haven’t in many years. Why haven’t I done it? I’m not entirely sure. Maybe I thought it was something I shouldn’t do, or something my partners wouldn’t like me doing. Maybe it was just because I never asked before. We often leave things unsaid, desires unfulfilled, simply because we don’t want to open ourselves up and be thought less of or be made fun of for having them.We don’t trust ourselves. We don’t trust that what we want is ok, regardless of what anybody else may think.

I want to be talked dirty to. I want to be called names and told what a slut I am.

I want you to say no so I can beg you for what I want.

I want you to photograph me. I want to see what you see.

I want to be desired.

I want you to use me for your pleasure.

I want to be shared by numerous men. I want you to watch.

I want to be naked and play while others watch.

I want to drive my fake cock into you the way you drive your real one into me. I want to make you my bitch.

I want to queen you.

I want to watch you suck another man’s cock. I want to share one with you.

I want to learn how your body reacts to various stimuli. I want to blindfold you so you only feel and experience without any preconceived notions seeing would give you.

I want you to restrain me and force my orgasm, over and over again.

I don’t want you to stop, even when I beg you to.

I want to be able to express all of these things to you and more. If I can tell you what I want here for the whole world to see, why can’t I do it when you ask, when I am laying naked beside you?

Read Full Post »

May I Play With Myself?

Mister S and I were texting the other night as he is currently out of town on business. We weren’t discussing anything serious, just talking about my reminder marks and how we missed each other. Then he asked me if he could play with himself.

“May I play with myself Ms?”

“What’s the rule?” was my response, to which he requested I FaceTime with him. The rule is that he can play if he sends me a picture. Watching in real time was absolutely acceptable, and in some ways preferable. I love to watch and he loves to be watched so it’s a win-win.

I called so we could FaceTime. He quickly walked me through a hallway and into what I am assuming is his room during his stay. Then my view flipped from his handsome face to his cock. I watched as he lay on the bed pulling and tugging and showing his cock off to me. He asked if he could cum and I said no, not yet. We hadn’t done anything like this previously and I wanted to enjoy it.

My “not yet” was ignored, or unable to be followed, and before I knew it he was cumming. I made some comments about how I hated to see his delicious cum go to waste and wished I could clean it all up for him. My view soon changed from his cum covered cock back to his handsome face, for maybe a whole two seconds or so before he thought he heard footsteps approaching and said a quick goodnight.

The entire call was about two minutes from beginning to end and I was left hanging. Which was fine really because I hadn’t brought up my desire to play as well, so he was completely unaware. I can’t fault a guy for not knowing something that I didn’t tell him. I don’t expect him to be a mind reader.

The thing is though, I was pretty much irrelevant to the whole thing. At least that’s how I felt. If he had said he was going to jack off and asked if I wanted to watch I would not have any issue. Him being excited just by me watching would have been fine. I will gladly watch him stroke his cock any day of the week.

My issue is that he asked me if he could play. Then he asked me if he could cum, and yet he came anyway when I told him no. He set my expectation by asking and thereby assuming the submissive role, which put me in the dominant role. And if he wants to be the submissive partner then he needs to listen and abide by what I say. How would he react if he told me to do something while we were playing and I didn’t obey? How would you react to your partner?

I can see your question already. Yes, we switch. Although our main roles are him the Dominant and I the submissive, we do enjoy switching and will do so with each other.

Obviously this was my experience. Mister S may have a completely different view on it, one I will share if he so chooses.



 

Read Full Post »