Honesty. I’ve been thinking about this a lot recently. It’s the one thing, above all else, that I have always asked of and expected of my partners. Sadly it seems to be the one thing none have been capable of thus far. Why is this? Why is honesty so difficult to provide? Is it because they tell me what they think I want to hear? Or because they don’t want to admit certain truths to themselves? Or to me? Maybe it’s a combination. Maybe there is more to it. I don’t know but I wish I could figure it out.
I don’t just ask for honesty, I give it too. I strive to be as open and honest as possible in every aspect of my life. No, I don’t shout from the rooftops that I am a kinky submissive, but I don’t hide that fact either. And even though I don’t talk to my family about it I’m certain they know to some degree. My mom’s seen things. She isn’t stupid. My brother has ransacked my things trying to find, I don’t know, something he’s misplaced or money to buy more. He’s never mentioned the private things of mine he’s found, even though I know he’s come across them.
I am honest with my partners when they ask me things. I tell them my desires. I share stories of my past. Maybe I am too honest. Maybe because they are still holding back, or because they are used to women holding back, they think that the truths I share are only part if my story. They think I am keeping something more to myself so they keep secrets from me as well.
I don’t care what the reason is I just want it to stop. No, I do care. I wouldn’t be asking you if I didn’t care to know. So tell me. Why is it so difficult for people to be honest with one another?